My name is Belinda Gayheart

I show my allegiance to my children.

First of all I would like to say, Welcome. I can not promise you a pain free experience her and will not lead you on. This blog talks about problems, out loud. No hiding. So if you hide? You probably don’t want to hang around here? And your probably not ready to heal. But if you’re  ok with visibility stay and browse and post comments from you please.  My place is a place to get this conversation started. And I am a no fuss no muss kind of girl. No charts and graphs. Just hard truth from the guts of one who dares to share it. And I feel strongly that this approach will garner us the best results. And it is the one we have not ventured into yet. But I have. And I am just fine. I have weathered the storm of what was the catastrophe of my Mama and me.  I feel the same, it did not get worse, it was worst the day my Mama left.

I am a Woman, Adoptee, Activist, Artist,Singer, Writer, Preacher and well there really isn’t much I don’t do. The list will be to long if I go on and and on. And that just makes it  looks like I am show boating. So lets say I am blessed and gifted.

And I have been blogging a lot of pain of late. But am gaining some relief from that for sure. My writing is coming together slowly, and I am letting it take it’s own shape. I am not editing it. I am just letting it be a flow of consciousness with no judgements of it. For it is my inner child and she needs to be allowed to speak of her toils growing up like this. And it is time for me to Mother Myself. And turn the tables. For it is time we teach our young girls to care for themselves. Love themselves, not clothes and a name, but to. Other their soul.

This is the person that Adoption made me. A soul in this world with no name, no heritage, a ghost. I wander the world seeing what goes on and feeling it so. And Jesus, God and Mother Earth are with me and they show me to show this pain so we can mourn, together. But we do not disappear, we children removed. For there is always hope. And for me it is within this child’s body that hope springs forth. With jesus at the wheel, anything is possible. And I am posting it here so you an see what God is doing for me, so you an see he will do it of you.

I am trusting the instinct that God gave me for my Mom and just going for it! No more self editing, no more painting a rusty canvas, no more saying it’s ok. I know you Adoptees know what I am talking about. We have our Adoptee family and how we act and then there is the secret us, no one can see, because if they saw it, they might give us up again? But we have been abadondoned by a world that can not see. What happens to the children when relinquishments catastophic blow hits our Moms and bringer her to her knees. So I am speaking up about it, the terrible awful that wAs done to us. WE ARE THE SILENCED SLAVES. I SAID IT AND YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THST IT IS TRUE.


Damn right I am… Taking babies from Mothers is brash!

Brain washing Mothers into giving their babies up in the name of God is brash!

Oh judgement day is upon us, and I am leading the pack, with my TRUTH!

I wheeled the story no one can deny for it is recorded in history for all to seeing has come fromhard won truths I have lived and witnessed. With my own eyes!

And my experience is my testament to expose it.

God knew what she/he was making when she/he made me.

My Mama will rule this day, the day I take this back.

The day I close this down for the  lie has been perpetrated against the woman of this planet.

God help the men. For they have been left to care for us. Not to rape us for pleasure. We the woman and children are pleased in their care to be loved. Not just taken and thrown away like trash.  For we are joint heirs you see. So we got to stick together.

But they are to busy fighting to see the devil is steeling their babies and throwing them into hell, by their own hand not accepting responsibility they leave the woman out in the cold to fend for herself. She fends for herself in a world created by men who care more for a dollar and a dick, than the children they breed. And this is not to hate on men, but tonshownignorsnce.  But we all need to see and look at the energy there, and address it, drive it out. We must expose these things to bring them to light, so they can be changed, for no man truly likes the way it is, but its gotten out of hand.

So as you can read here are many things surrounding Adoptees and Adoption and the ramifications of what it does to the well being of our children in the end. I am 54, and still working on piecing a life together that was ripped apart by this  she is never a good idea. My priceless treasures strewn about and my family walking arrow like zombie they do not recognize me? Is this God? Is It? Is this his hand that creates this?

And I am a part of nations who’s charge is to bring you to your knees with our reports of abuse and suffering at the hands of an ignorant society with their head in the sand. For it is not a good thing to take a child from the Mother that is its, for she has a job to do, and Mothers are called, and we need to teach that at the ground level folks. So our girls can be strong and wise, so they don’t have to fall prey to their emotions and can be strong when a society run by greed comes calling and wants their child you see, and  they have the knowledge that can teach the. And they can learn to tame those demons that rip at them when they conceive.

Our Nation is strong, but they have been waiting for one who is not afraid at all. And I would like to apply. For i have the heart of a lion and the guts to stand up and say it like it is. And that is what is needed here. No more double tongueness. We need frank, straight truth, and if you don’t want to say it persay? Then send me your bullets, your stories. But only if you are ready to own them, no secrets here, that is the only way. This must be a frontal attack, or presentation. We must be clear about what is going on inside this thing, or it will not be sent with enough force to stop it. And we need to stop it. So look at what you feel and if you don’t care if another child feels that, do nothing. If you don’t care about your own self and the pain relinquishment meant to you, go back to sleep. But if you were hurt in any way that caused you to suffer or cry, God cares and this is our way. Truth is the only way to fight what was done. And it’s not even fighting.  Us others will fight what we say. Yeah they are the ones of base. The truth is solid ground and our experiences show the way.

So again, thank you or your time. Remember, I am not trying to make sense in my writing, because this does not make sense. I am showing how much this does not. Air sense. I am looking for my wiring to help me make sense by showing the nonsense. Thanks you and Namaste’

I send love from this post to  all Mothers in this life experience we are having, and I pray for their strength as we all come clean and show what this is really all about, so the world can see it for what it really is.

Change is fanatical….radical….and turns us upside down. But change anyway.

All writing here is the property of the writer noted here each day.


  • I enjoyed reading this and finding out more about you. I understand where you are coming from, as I have a sister in law who was adopted. She had, and has, many medical issues and oh, so often wondered where it came from. Why was she given up, although she was raised in a wonderful, loving home. As an adult, she found her birth mother, and has met her. She actually lives in CA, although my sister in law lives in MS, and has all, or most of her life. Her mother, did marry the father, but when she was born, they were young, not married, couldn’t care for a child, etc. They had other children, who are very similar in appearance to Nancy, and share some of the same health issues, as does the mother. My husband also does not know who his biological father is, he has a name on a birth certificate, but every one in town knew he could not bear children. So, as an adult my husband spent years trying to find out who the biological father was. His last chance at finding him was lost when his grandmother passed away. His mother died when he was a teenager, and I don’t believe she would have ever told him anyway. He finally, after many, many years gave up looking, and wondering even. He has his mothers’ family genes, you can tell by looking at him, and knowing them. He finally came to terms with it, but it took many, many years.
    You were not raised by strangers. Your adopted mother loves you very much. She would not have adopted you otherwise. No woman can bring a child, not their own, into their home and raise them without loving them like their own, don’t ever think she doesn’t love you.
    Yes, I think, very much, that we were meant to meet yesterday. I think we can both help each other!

    Liked by 1 person

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