Once. Upon a time

Once. I finally get through my Mama stubborn mind? And she see me clearly? She’s gonna feel like shit it’s normal when you finally wake up to your bodies behaviors. I’ve had this moment a few times on my way to a better me. I got ya.

And forceful words must be spoken so she can feel the gravity as she decents back into the body she wounded, having help from many others who did not do for her what I am doing now. I’m. The friend she needed when the friend she needed came to her town va JJ and was growing inside here. Does she think I could hear and feel all that? Anyway.

We must take into account. My family saw nothing but a breeder in me. So I mimicked what was reflected back to me. No college for you Linda’s girl! Huey who? Looks like this one came from planet of the apes their actions said to me? I must prove first I can be a better Mama then she? Oh please people you don’t even know what’s what with me and Linda Marie. Your all so cute thinking you even know my protential. 🤣 but I’ll show all y’all in front of my Mama. Well. On a blog my Mama reads. We had to edit the story.

I wanted to tell her this face to face but she was closed up like a clam on clam day. Nope. She wanted to read my story. Well ok Linda. You got what you blocked for. Whoop! Way to go. This is all she could take. Spoonfuls of truth. That’s how starved of truth Mama was. I’ve tended enough Ferrell cats to know how to win trust. Takes time and effort.

But. Back to what I am trying to say as I fill in all the back stories again and again cuz folks can’t keep up. Why is that my problem? Well not is if I want to be understood correctly. I’ve never seen a disabled woman work so hard for it. Clue clues clues. Cus Mama ain’t get this on mo silver platter. She gonna have to us her gray matter. Lol. That’s funny play on words and spelling 🤣

No college to learn what I need to tell what I obviously needed cuz look at me and Mama now? Blah. Floppped. Blocked. Stuck. If I have to work you do too. Linda Marie. Snap snap snap. Pop pop pop goes this weasel. This is how my brain is. Adoption did not help. So. Accept it. Reject it. Make up your mind and then either accept me or keep rejecting who you think I am. Cuz I’m

It that. I’m a daughter my Mama never understood from day one why I had the nerve to interrupt her life choices to play with a player like my Daddy and just ride away on a

Horse and leave me with strangers. Dangers. I know many. Have had to fend for myself thanks you. Against strangers ideas of me. Taking there failures out on me. Like some god damn paid for whipping girl. I can’t fix into any of y’all a boxes. I’m unboxed. My Mama unboxed me. So. Deal with it.

Mama threw me down the rabbit hole right after I was born. She knows the story but mines a bit different. I’ve not had a verified college education, I’ve had to read and work for all I now am able to try to describe.

So, Victoria Lynn. Shut the fuck up. You could even fill Out a fafsa form girl. Don’t talk about me being dumb. I filled mine out while rasing three children and all that goes with that 😳🤧🧨🌪

So. What was your problem? Mama not enough? No. She wasn’t cuz a par of her she cut off was gone. You partner in crimes we never got to do now did we? Nope. Don’t blame me girl. Point that shit at Mama. Oh. I just did it for you. Your welcome. Get this one as I lay it on ya. Mama. Could not help any of y’all cuz she didn’t help me and that fact is so deep within her psyche. Well. She’s just now seeing her own wounding with this god taught woman cut off at her pockets.

No college. So I educated myself. Excuse me lizzy Boo and Phyllis Marie. Another Marie? We got Mary’s all day up in the family goodness. That’s a mark girl. Labels. Gottta love um!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 I know. It’s not funny but it is.

Who invented college? Well. Anyway. I raised my children. They all lived to tell their lovely stories. Whoop! Looking at you Chelsie Lynn. 🥰 That girl there’s a great reporter of stories. She told Mama and mama

Swallowed her own shit story book line and sinker. Hello! Goodbye. College. What’s that? For dumb dumbs that can’t teach themselves anything. Run I’m through the mill and it is a mill with no time to really retain anything. Them bam! Labels. AA. BA. MBA. BLAH BLHA BLAH.

Can we teach people how to be decent. Honest. Well my sisters did go to that college that Mama sent me too. 👅 that’s me sticking my tongue out and all y’all. I wasn’t allowed to experience that as a child so. It seem late but according to our development calendar that Mama tore the fuck up and flipped of god with? Is a bit? Different now isn’t it? I’m coming through my teenage rebellion stage of your to dumb to realize. 😩🥰🥰🤣 yep. Y’all are to dumb to even realize anything.

I’m a trained layman. Teacher. Preacher to those the churches high and mighties can’t even see. awe. That’s to bad. What a jerk. Y’all are dumb jerks. Jerky yourselves around while I commentate. I’m not even there and can do a play by play as I lead the strays back to god. You all look at me like I crazy and y’all ain’t even cracked a book! Maybe victiria

But y’all don’t even wanna. Lizzy especially. But the fact is you all gotta. Purge it. Face it. Face what I went through for all y’all. You could be me. That’s a fact. We are animals. And y’all felt it. Phyllis was grown in the body of a woman that possessed the potential to throw her away

But she did throw phyliss away. Why? Me. Your welcome

Phylis. However you spell it. I hate labels. I like stories. I’ve been hearing them for years and a story tells a lot about what a name can not. People like their names remembered. But it’s the story that makes you remember the name. My siblings will remember me. 😳🤧✅🧨🌪👋👋👋

Hi! How are ya! Jeffree star saying. Look it up. My nieces and nephew problem understand me better then my own sisters and bro. Looking at you nick. 🥰 mama didn’t have to go get your ass and raise you. You could have been me bro. Why isn’t her lawn care paid for bro? And y’all nieces and nephews best to get to grammas. Toot sweet and help her weekly. I want a

Schedule. I want Sunday dinner she does not have to fucking cook for your asses. and Ben. Fuck you for even telling my Mama you wanted the cookware I don’t give a shit if it’s plastic!! How dare you and I your god damned crazy aunt issue this warning. Apologize to your grandma. And lizzy? Wtf? No no no. Victoria? Wtf. It’s fucking rude!! Kardasians. And you little shits know exactly the reference I am speaking about.

Sunday dinners. At Mamas. She ain’t driving. You driving. Take turns cooking no fucking excuses! Why would I even come home? To kick all halls fucking asses. I am the only one who stands up for our Mama you losers. Losers. Fix up Chelsie’s project will ya? Fucking dead beat complainers. And make it a

She shed. Duh? Maybe a family garden? All that land and wtf. Mama. I do apologize for my fucking siblings. They do suck.

Oh. I’m ranting again. Marcia. Why did Mama not tell you? Well? Where were you dear? Wtf? Seriously you were hurt where you? Poor baby. Look.

You wanna know came to see you bitch? Chicken shit. Don’t even know when your own cousins triggered and living in a nightmare scenario? On repeat. You went to college did you and you wrote some books no one reads. Why would god bless you? Wow.

Oh. And Victoria. I can hear you. Can she make up her mind and Im looking at you. Your the dumb ads bitch on the wrong side of my fence. 🤩🤩🌪🧨you think Mama was rough. Say hello to Be Linda. She can be a real bitch if you push her or deny her. All I’m doing is writing words strung together. No edit. Y’all gonna have keep up or

Fuck off and get my name out of Our mouth for good. Put up. Or shut up. You to Chelsie.

I TOOK ON THE WORLD FOR UOY GOD DAMN BITCHES. I STOPD UP FOR OUR MAMA DESPITE IT ALL. CUZ IM NOT A LOSER. WINNERS WIN. GET THE FUCK OUR OF MY WAY. OR GODS GONNA SMIT YOU CUZ YOU ALL CALLING THE AIR STIKE IN. NOT ME. I JUST TELLING YOU I SEE IT COMING BY YOUR LACK OF ACTIONS.

Hey. You reading if your not my family. These peps. Don’t even get what I am saying. So triggered. They jammed up. I sounds like static to them. Why do you read this anyway if you made it this far? Post something for god sakes so I can write to you about something encouraging. My family’s just dead meat and they don’t even know it.

Clue- mama gave me to god. So. Who’s knocking on the family door?

Well got to go. Messages delivered. thump. Thump. Trump. Trumped.

Oh. Phylis. Why isn’t Mamas

Ouse eco friendly? Ohhh!! She scores for that win. Where’s Mamas raised beds? Fresh veggies so she can go pick her herbs and yummies from the garden her babies built? Why the hell should I do it? No one asked me.

And don’t even tell me I don’t know a god damn boundary. I’ve been circling for years looking for a door or window! 🤣🤣 prison. It looks like to me and y’all ain’t even gonna get blessed acting like this. I am the regulator bitches. And my crew. Be all over you. Chelsie. David! Angela. My team of warriors. Trained for this day.

Be Linda. Teacher extraordinaire of The school of hard knocks. this bitches could never. Tiktok reference. Ask my nieces and nephews what it means. Or. Look it up. Whoah Vicki. YouTube.

My eldest daughter. Verified genius. What am I? A genius maker. Takes a genius to make a genius. Warrior. Fought for our freedom. Is asking for us to freely make a better decision about this. She tired of her Mama being sad. She got anxiety and ptsd and this doesn’t help when Mama ain’t singing. So. Own that. We are connected and you all having an affect.

And I stand in the streets and tell you we gonna do better all of us.

1 Sunday dinners

2 raised bed garden

3 a lawn and landscaper Mama can noos around and have a good reason to stay of the fucking roof!

4 fix up the she shed for Mama. Toot sweet.

4 all y’all apologize to Mama for asking for stuff before she dies it ain’t on you to decide!!!! No more rude behavior!

5 appreciate she kept your asses. Victoria. Forgive yourself for being to dumb to fill out a fafsa. And accept that college wasn’t for you. Your a lifetime learner girl.

6 get your head right about me.

And last. No number needed. Phil can see it all now. Is he proud of you? All his working making that place for our Mama and he dies. And she climbing the ladder? Please. Don’t even criticize me. Fix yourselves. Do I even want to come see that shit? No.

And Victoria dear. Clean that mouth out about me cuz your not calling any good karma in with that nasty thing. Cunt. Crazy and unwelcome is more like it. Is that what you want? Cuz Mama can flip on a dime as we recently saw with her vehicle? So. Don’t push not girl. You’re kept. I’m free.

You have a sister who’s waited years for you. Fucking grow up. All y’all.

And is the pond clean and working? Fix it. Make sure Mama see my painted stones so she can remember who’s on her side really.

Blows me away. All y’all let me just write and write and did nothing about it. Own that too. Cuz honey it’s all on you. I can see why Mama felt scared. No one came to help. Victoria just drove Mama daughter away 😩😩😩 like wow. Sibling rivalry. I can see why Mama gave me away. To avoid all y’all growing up. I would have fucked you all up! But. Well. Yeah.

I’m laughing at you all. Do dumb. Kept ungrateful greedy children. Like I know. Phil told me 😙 all about ya.

That smile. Tell me she wasn’t happy I drove to see her that day she tried to slide right on by after Driving right by me. ❤️ she’s still in here mama. Loving you.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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