Horrible Mama. With a temper
Problem no one helped me fix. Fixing alone. A husband who triggered the hell in me. Trying to stay calm. Going off. Blanking out. Apologizing. Round and round I went for years.
Anger. From where I had to figure out myself while therapist practiced on me like so science experiment. Frustration with behaviors that bit not only me in the ass and made me act a fool, making me hurt my children.
There’s no win here. Mamas don’t have any training, no respect for doing what our Mamas showed us. What did my Mama show me? Her back side. Well them.
And I thought I would be great. Ba ha ha ha. Not.
Caught up in a dream world. My body made them. I tried to raise them. Now? Well. There ya go. My Mama left me with the strangers and then damned me for being strange while my children? Agree. 😩
Kodak moments I’ll never forget. Forgiveness I wanted to forget. The monster living inside of me no one could help me tame. World insane. Drained. Cut off.
God. My only help. Oh well. Time will tell. Farmer in the dell. All hell.