Samuel

1 Sam 15:23

For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king.”

Now that sounds like some bullshit right there. Or? Is Mama living in the sin of her divination with me. She did deviate from the divine orders and sent me away. Is she practicing? Divinations?

Is she an evil idolater? Did she reject God?

Well if she did so did Moses Mama. Moses Mama was a revolutionary. She disobeyed a Kong’s orders and sent her son to his sister. Wow. As if you say here. Take my boy. See if the king will kill him if he’s his sisters son? But the king was to gone. He didn’t get the message. To high and mighty to see the Jews were his people too.

I’d say he was racist. Against a people who did him good and built his house. Moses got to observe his behavior up close and personal and teach that man a lesson we all never forgot. But did we get the message really?

With all these babies being trafficked. Moved. Whatever. In gods eyes it all the same. It all

Hits home. It does not diminish the horrors of both no belittle my claim as more or less then another’s. My Mama is mine by birth right. Always.

Moses. Like me didn’t want to deal with it. He went off. Married and had children. But god had other plans for that man. Plan for me too. And my Mamas that they did not conceive could be in me.

That I would throw a tantrum the span of 6 years and tear adoption down with my own two thumbs in the airways. Wow. For sure. That’s huge.

Act 10:34

Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism.

Why not me? Out of all the adoptees in this world? Why not use me to show my Mama what love really looks like after she threw that love away and shared it with another? Is my love diminished? No. It grew because a Indian princess descendent feed my love and covered my Mamas sins with her skin in this game.

This Moses ain’t gonna be part of tearing up to world for no damn reason other then growing a better garden that reflects the two woman who watered this seed of Linda’s. Cus I’m gods child beyond those woman’s child.

It’s says sin of divination. Deviation. Whatever. Words words words. Did Mama sin? Or is there room for? God to bring a turn around in our torn up story? I believe there is wiggle room.

And I believe God is working through me to show Mama my side so she can see her worth to me is not less then due to her decision, but more then due to her decision. And it does take time to wrap a Mamas mind around an idea she never saw as hers.

My children deserve them both. And I’ve worked darn hard so I deserve them both too.

I’ve stood up for them

I’ve fought for yhem

I stayed when Mama Jean was all spun out after my father took a hike down the street to be with her no longer best friend who husband aided and abetted my separation from my Motherland. He saw his ere. And he did what he felt he needed to make it right.

His death did cause my father to leave. And because he left meant that johns son couldn’t molest me anymore. But me and Mama Jean has to go it alone. Not even her parents aided us after the divorce except to allow us to live in their house. They never came over to see us and have dinner. They just disappeared. Oblivious that Mama Jean even needed then and it hurt her to see how the world treated us after the divorce how the church just was asleep in the light as usual and didn’t see about us.

Thank Hod I know Gods not just in a church building. I’m so glad I am not ignorant and know god is all and all is god.

You’re right Mama. This story sucks. Are you ready to fix this thing up yet? With all our crafty minds and cooking skills? Surely we can make a better soup then this.

That’s scripture doesn’t phase me. God loved so many prostitutes. Jesus was a rebel and went against the grain of his times and told the truth.

Are we to believe that god killed Jesus cuz he was a rebel? That’s a laugh. No ones gonna even do that. But he was a rebel. He changed it all. The Jewish, don’t live in his promised land. I do. With both my Mamas and my children and family.

Jesus made it ok because god like us evolves and has learned that divinations are deviation, changes in course. Course correction as we learn who and where god really is.

Preachers will be preaching this very soon as we gain new downloads and interpretations never considered due to dogma. you’ll see. I’ve got a nak for seeing trends and the world has in fact changed. Corona virus got to us. And drove us home to sort ourselves out and face our ways. People are stuck at home with their own children now having to teach and work with them instead is throwing them at a daycare worker and hoping they do well.

People are risking jail to worship in parking lots. Fined 500$? In the land under god. Gods not on top of us but waiting patiently within. There’s a fire going. Cookies and treats. And tea. Can we find the time to go and sup with the king and queen of kings and queens? Or are we looking outside for a visitor that never left. It’s we that lost our minds if we can’t see. Gods knocking from the inside. Begging us to let god out. Begging us to see god within everything.

Will we see?

I believe. My Mama. Sees now that I’ve cleared the mud off her eyes. Her child. Strong. Walking across a bridge she built with her own two hands and the help of her children to her promised land with Mama Jean on my arm towards home.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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