As well as I know him. Why? Cuz he’s part of me. Duh. Just like ya all. Your parents are within you and you can access their files. With your prayers.
If you’ve prayed like me. And asked in faith. God will open the vault of dna and explain. So when you go home, for me at least, I went big to go home, you can help the poor Mama sort herself out of all this entanglement.
I’m doing what paid therapist can’t do. Due to red tapes. I don’t need tape. I’m taking tape off our relationship. And adoption rules are like a soiled diaper right now for me and Mama that needs to be put in the trash outside as to not keep drinking up our lives.
Who is your first love? That’s right. Mama. Not Daddy. That’s why most marriage fail. Not cuz of dad. Cuz no ones gonna replace Mama. Even if your Mama give you away to a stranger to raise. No one takes her place. Within. And stop wincing when I write that sentence Mama.
Love. Cover the sins. Now we know some of what my love covered. Like duh. Why my Mama told herself I would not even remember her. I’ll never know but I must bring the correct. And fix what Mama couldn’t see, for not seeing her own worth to me would never change.
I don’t need a virus to tell me who’s important for me is more then one Mama cuz my Mama got help. And in 1963 Mama needed help. And God gave her that help. Gods help doesn’t look like our help. Gods ways are not like ours. I took this crazy narrow road cuz God showed me my own heart.
I would not want anyone to have to go through all this. But I can’t take it back and don’t want too. Because I tore it all down. Nothing. With get in my way now. Nothing can stop my love from carving all this garbage away. Like this is not all mine people. I’m just the only one speaking up about it.
Here’s a link. We are all connected and my families feelings? I do pick up on that shit. So do my children. And I am breaking this bad habit once and for all. In all directions of time. My words have power to change when I use them for our highest good.
I’m not the girl that just leaves a mess. I’m the clean up crew. My Dad would not want me to leave Mama in this sad state of affairs.