And the birds sing on

While the world is all in an uproar, then there are the birds. Singing praises I imagine? Or maybe laughing at all of us, “Stupid humans if they sang more and complained less.” “we toil not and our Mama cares for each of us and grows food everywhere, when will they see like we?”

A mockingbird is singing right now. He clings to the wires we built and mocks with his song. I’m really glad he can’t talk cuz he would probably repeat me right now. 🤣 but no, he sings like a comic relief agent the other birds songs back to them. Maybe they need reminding? Who knows why god made a bird that mock all the other birds sings but gods cool like that. It’s almost like he’s taunting the others saying, “ I can take your song if I want too” 🤣 that’s a tiktok joke. If you don’t watch tiktok. You won’t get it.

I sit out back. The place is a wreck and I’ve not had the energy to do shit about it. I’ve been resting for 2 1/2 years now. I’m so over it. But gods got a plan. And if I’m up running around like a chicken instead of allowing God to work? I’ll miss it all together. God knows me. God knows what I need. And it looks like it’s not my Mama. But? I knocked. I asked. I went seeking. I found. The answer. Nope.

Why? Cuz my Mama can’t tell the truth. She can’t get through the gate cuz she’s not washed her hands yet and her ass is dirty with her own shit. I’ve just pointed it out to her. I mean? I guess she could just go around tell people babies don’t remember a thing and call it a day? And then have one person, it only takes one, stop her and tell her off for telling such a dumb story? But she likes thinking that. It comforts her. Blankets statements we carry around until they are old and ruined. Like Linus.

But. No matter the birds sings on and Mocks with his songs. Such an impersonator that one. I’m glad he’s singing. He or she reminds me a song is all I need to blow off the steam. And natures just calling me back out of my Mamas nightmare into my new integrates self. I’ll go one without what’s mine by birth right. God must not be happy with Mama or we would be over this by now.

Did god send me to punk my own Mama? And taunt her? Hell? I don’t know. My words have defiantly thrown her for her own loop. I bet if she could jump into the Bible and disappear she would. Must be so hard for her with me all unraveled publicly and all. Why should I care?

I’ll tell you why. Because Mama Jean cares. She gave a shit. She gave more then one shit for me. She gave it all for me. And I wish to make her pleased with the girl she took home after not even getting a look at the woman who made me. She didn’t care how I got here? So. My minds changing as I purge all my grief out. She doesn’t like to see me cry for someone who’s doesn’t care if I do cry. Why waste my water on a woman that’s so out to lunch?

Sure. Mama got Chelsie. Good for her. Why was I upset? Guess I thought I knew my own daughter and that she could even see me. She didn’t see me. She was just as confused as I was and we got all twisted up. There is no comparing these two woman. I’ve tried. It’s just difficult.

It’s like Linda in me is settling down. Huey was on board from the get go but Linda? Was a mess. But I’ve not stopped working on Linda in me. Cuz my Mama Linda may not want to learn but I do. No it alls? What can we do. I know what I know and I’ve told it here. If I need to be set straight? This was the time. No one stepped up to do so? So I must be spot on.

Good luck Chelsie. I love ya. But Mama don’t play. Once Mamas upset it’s for a damn good reason. Maybe you’ll see? Maybe you’ll be like Linda Marie? She’s got some bad habits. That’s for sure. She’s Reading the word and she don’t practice it with me. I come to the door. Does she see Jesus? Well it don’t seem like she did.

Once’s it all said and done. This record shows I tried to get through and my family? To blocked up to even hear me now. sad. For them. They lost a good one. Returned better then Mama Jean got me that’s for sure. And she’s stood by while I told my family off, knowing, I’d adjust. And I did. She’s so smart that one.

Mama got a taste of her through my words. You know? The ones she taught me. So. Mamas been dealing with Jean these days. I’ve got two Mamas. God gave me two. Y’all can say that’s a curse. But for me? It’s a blessing!!

And cue the birds!

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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