Going home kind of feels like revival.

What do I mean? Well. It’s like going some where where it’s dry. People go to church but they eat the dry toast and long for some water. Something to splash on there faces and get their attention. Revive them? Like a word spa!! Peppered with prayers and encouragements. In a tent with a stranger. Telling all. Releasing. Confessions. Making it right with god. Change.

And it’s like my Mamas been praying for revival? Reading her bible. And then Belinda comes a long and throws her wrench into the game and comes home? And all hell breaks loose. People loose all their manors. And I clearly see theses folks do need a revival? We all kind of died when I went away? Seems so small a thing? One person and there affect held back for 30 years? And the whole family dynamic change when they return? And people? And our human nature’s.

It’s like which way do we go? What do we do? No plan in place for the chaos? Even though it wasn’t a real surprise? Mama knew I was alive. She learned the hard way she didn’t get to rule out my will. And that God had other ideas about she and I. That this ain’t over. Til god says it’s over. She also has learned what obedience looks like. God lead me home. I had to choose to follow. I had to choose to listen to the still small voice that had been denied so long, as it said, “it’s time”. 3 years later I made contact with Mama.

I don’t think forks get how long I’ve held it back. I’m seasoned. So is Mama. Emotions are in check. We don’t show them much. Not the dark ones. And a mama needs to know, I saw her darkness and lit it up with my lite.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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