Avoidance behavior on steroids.
Who do the trillions of people who are adopted orphaned from their homes seem to be avoiding? A disaster? is the world telling us our Mamas are faulty? Broken?
I guess I am the only brat with balls enough to stand in the street and address everyone, and say!! “You been talking about my Mama way to much for me” we are gonna fight. If I hear my Mama? Speaking your filthy words you are damn right I will drive them away? Blow them away.
And I will say them out loud. So she knows I know. What was said. She did not like it then. Nor does she like it now. I’ve talked to a lot of people in my life time. Helped people on the streets. Because she couldn’t get it together for me. I got it together for us all. Call me intense. The feeling of separation is intense. Unity feels way better when you surrender and tell god ok. Take me home to Mama. Her souls a calling. And we gonna answer.
And come on home so she can see what god made and listen to me calling everyone dirty to the surface so she can see I see it all. And I grew from that dirt. Strong. And y’all and mobile as hell.
Who’s avoiding who now?! Maybe Mama thought I was avoiding her? Well I’ve got phone bills that differ. And she’s got letters that sent that claim seems like she was mad? First. When I came home? And then she blamed it on me? Not cuz she didn’t expect me to come home? But that I dared to defy her? So strange.
And she’s basically running from herself. And she thinks it’s me? Because why would a mama run from their own child? If not for guilt or fear? And then I ask what is she fearful of happening? I see nothing to fear. Yet see fear and anger in her eyes? Trapped in a life that now does not suit her. And yet more then enough room to grow. Such a pickle. And me. Holding my hand and calling out all the demons one by one again and again. Calling for her to choose now to reconnect. I never let go.
Love. Why do we avoid it so?