That I had gathered growing up adopted. You may say? It sounded like a lot of crazy. And. You’d be right. When you throw it all together and blurt it out like I did. It does. Imagine now what it felt like to me? Growing up having so many thing told to me that did not add up? Yeah?
Would you like all that dumped on you just because your adopted? Cuz I did not really appreciate it. A whole lot of nonsense coming at a child who’s lost someone that meant a lot and still does mean a lot. And people want folks like me to write it all out in nice neat lines so they can understand? nope. You get the medicine just like I got it. All tangled up together and making no sense.
People have some very interesting ideas of what adoption is. But I know what adoption is to the core. It’s putting up with a lot of other people truths about you and nothing you can do to protect yourself from the onslaught. They call it protection. But it does not translate as protection to the child now alone in a world of strange people telling them what to do and how to be.
And you think? At the end of the road, when you go home it’s gonna stop? Only to be met with your own Mama spouting out madness that protection will be there to find it’s not there and that the enemy is now living inside the mind of your one hope for sanity. This world is madness. Home is supposed to be the safe zone. Mother is supposed to be your protector. Friend. Alley. Coach. Cheerleader. I was denied mine by mine. So if I appear a bit twisted. Excuse me. That. Is twisted. And it’s clear to me my Mamas twisted now too.
I decided to please myself and drop a huge load of hoowey. right here. A public place where folks could sort through the madness this woman had to wade through growing up in such a twisted road called Adopted, being an orphan called Adopted. As if the word negates the fact I was abandoned into the care of someone that was not my Mother. It’s a white wash scandal of the twisted sort. Like putting us into this machine will erase the truth and plaster a Jew truth on us. That’s insane right there. Not me.
My Mother has been rude to me. Rude to the woman that took me in. Due to a twisted mindset she invented herself to erase what happened. And she could change her ways? She could have a better experiences with me? Clearly two choices are here appearing on this page? Stay in the past. And I’ll keep on typing about it. Move into the present and we can clean this up and be the wiser, and have love again.
Adoption was born out of fear. Fear of death. Fear of retribution. On the mother and child caught without a license to validate the conception of said child coming from said woman. Moses Mama feared for Moses life and sent him up river. Or down river. Whatever direction he did not stay. Fear of what? A man that was killing the first born man children trying to stop His own demise. That? Eventually met him at the red seas parting. The end of a dynasty that ruled a nation of Gods people like slaves.
If we are ever gonna get it right we must look at fear and why we choose to fear and abandon faith? We must look at why children are not safe to stay with their Mother’s and families. my Mama is not well. If she was well? She would not be blocking me. Moses Mama did not block him? She nursed him while he lived in a palace raised by a queen in her own right. These two woman worked together to do what they could to save Moses. Seems like woman are still not realizing the power they have? If my Mama can’t see the madness and the sanity of her predicament? And how a woman helped her.
I mean who am I anyway? Just the girl in the middle of this.