What my own Mama did not understand.

Is what my truth is helping her understand now.

I’m staying up for myself after a long long long long time of observations. If you wanna call that crazy? Well? I say that crazy.

And adoptions caused a blurred divide. And like Moses. I’m clearing the path across my Red Sea. The water is blood. Mine. Mixed with my sweat.

And oh yes. I’ve learned a few tricks along my way? From strangers. But I’m using those tricks for the highest good. Not just my own.

I’ve watched strangers. Try to judge me. And throwing all the judgements off of me like a rug they thought I was they could walk on.

People either have a place in my life or they don’t. My truth will show who the real fans are and cut those hanger oners off. Who. Thought. They owned me.

For I am a slave to no one. I am a follower of god and dare to look crazy. But those who are crazy will be seen for who they are.

Of my own Mama is wise? She will trust herself in me and do what it takes to prove to me why? I should even give her my trust now.

It’s her that need to step up higher and not stand back in the invisible that is now visible.

She thought she did an intelligent thing. Well do an intelligent thing and trust me. That’s what I’m ultimately saying. Trust.

Can she trust? Can she see herself? In her own daughter. Can she put herself in my shoes? And see the part of her that’s coming through loud and clear?

My own mother would never take this kind of treatment and yet she’s expected me to take it? Well I took it. And I’m changing it.

Because her DNA mixed with my Dads DNA is deadly to an old dream. Because I’ve lived this life with the full knowledge of who I am.

And gods calling me to tell my side for a reason that’s not born yet. She’s not a 25 year old woman anymore. And with my truth she’s wiser. Joined with me? She’s wiser indeed and deadly too.

She and I? Together are a dearly mix of Godly proportion. Can she imagine? Herself as Moses Mama back in the day? Watching all of the Israelites walking across the Red Sea to freedom? Can she see gods final plan? Beyond what was done long ago? Can she see what she did? Is setting many free. Mothers and children? And children in the future never having to have a Mama who needs to send their child away?

Today? Is Martin Luther King Jr.’s day! Yes I’ve got a dream. And my brother has a dream too. And he’s still with me until I’ve gotten through to her. She. Did not come to loose. Our losses will be others gains.

My unique combination of DNA and life experiences give me an edge. If Mama had lived the life I’ve lived and seen what I’ve seen? She would be acting just like me. She would speak up to change things and not just leave them for someone else to do.

Moses ran? Right? But god chased Moses down and got through to help him do what he was called to do. Set his people free. But unlike Moses? I’m putting my Mama in the front seat. Tell her to come to me. It’s the most powerful move of all when a Mama takes the lead. It’s the highest honor. It’s a sign of deep respect.

She’s ready. She’s got what it takes. But I don’t need her to nurse me. I need her to stand with me. For her to stay silent? Proves everyone else right? And denies her within me. She’s denying herself a blessing that is so big? So big.

Drop all the excuses is what I ask. Do what you know you would do if you can believe in your own truth and not all the you were told. Why? Would I lie after all this time?

Like why? There is no reason why?

Where is the justice in staying silent?

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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