I need to correct. I don’t know better.

I need to correct. This blog is my inner stream flowing out. And I would like to correct my words, I don’t know better than my own Mama. I know different. Together? When we put the both sides together we know better. And that means to go against our natural fleshly nature to pull back and go forward to connect.

I’m the one who’s been experiencing how the other half lives. Why? Would a mother deny the truth her child lived? She sent me here? Why would she deny me? Deny my voice? Restrict my freedom of speech? Why?

Why? Would she block? Beside all the reason of my words? How long is her list of why nots? And is God impressed?

That’s the question I’d like answered.

That’s what I feel needs to change.

It’s restrictive.

I’ve been restricted enough.

Pushed away enough.

Denied enough.

People are like? Why do you keep going back?

Well? Why does Jesus, god? Keep knocking?

Each day? Is fresh. And god? Shows up. Knocks on the doors of our hearts and waits for us to let God in.

My question is why does my own Mama

Not see god in me?

Jesus said we would have pain. Jesus has pain. And we share in that pain. Not for pain sake. But to walk to learn through pain.

I’m blogging to being light to darkness. Perspective to the blinded. Blinded by the past. Blinded by perspectives that are not founded in truth.

I wonder? If my Mama is so solid then why have my words forced her to block me?

I also wonder? If she’s so sure why does she not teach her own daughter better? And leaves me out in the rain? I wonder?

Something’s off here with her. And I’m tired of my family giving all the excuses as to why not.

According to the Bible? This here is not ok.

If Mamas at the alter? She’s basically has continually denied her child answers and comfort. She’s don’t me a wrong in this. So? According to the scriptures? God can’t hear her. So who is hearing her? Is she serving who she thinks she’s serving?

The word also says that God will not despise a contrite heart? And last time I saw her she appeared very stiff and rigid? Defiant. Cuz? I’m the one that keeps showing up to show her how easy it is? Just get in the car? And drive girl. Drive. Knock on the door? And try.

Why? Is it my responsibility? I obeyed. I found her. She. Did not even try. After? I made co tact through my sisters? Them she came? And then? She’s still tried to control our relationship?

Why? Would a healthy person even try to control her daughter hat she gave away? Why? It just is not adding up.

I know the answers to some of the why. But Phil? So brilliant. Asked questions and so I am following his lead. Asking his wife. Why.

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