It just really weighed me down. After I met my own Mama.

After meeting my own Mama.

And just observing all the reactions.

It was like I soaked it all up like a sponge.

What to do with it?

Was my question.

Why? Was I sent home?

And that would take time. Would take some sifting and shifting.

It would take love.

Loving her enough to face her. And call all the lies out.

Just like? Mama Jean did me. Called it out. Pointed at the behavior. Making me aware.

What greater love then to share the gift a stranger gave me then to share it with the woman you came from.

It’s not up to me if she gets it. It’s up to me to present it and allow god to help her get it.

What a god damned weight!!

Starring into her face and seeing all that pain she carried with no one to help her take that trash out?

No one should have to clean that up all alone.

Sure. I’m passionate about cleaning when I do clean. Sometimes I get busy and life just piles up.

And I spent time wondering and praying about what to do.

My Mama greatest fear was that I go public.

And that’s exactly where god sent me to go.

For love. Not shame. I help my own Mama clean out her shame cave.

Like some drill Sargent on Steroids clearing the path. So Mama could see she succeeded.

At last.

I don’t give a shit what anyone says.

I give a shit what god says. And what I confront in my own Mama is not ultimately gets. Just a bunch of ideas parading around that attaches to her identity.

She’s way more. She is a soul. A soul that came from god. And one day will go home to god.

And I’m pretty sure? God wants her to get off the cross she hung herself on for me. And maybe go shopping and meet her best friend Mama Jean.

Woman. Don’t have it easy. My Mom is more than some breeder who’s body made me. She’s a woman with a soul.

And god loves her more than she could even see through me. The child she gave away to a stranger.

Don’t ask me how? Soon I’ll get the download since I past the test and went all Moses at the pharaoh in her head. And part that Red Sea and lead her into her promised land.

Mama!!! I LOVE YOU!! Enough to face those ideas called demons that hide in the minds of us all.

If I’m worth it? Your worth it all.

That’s what gods saying through me!

I hung on a cross for my family tree. Xoxo.

Philippians 1:29

For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him,

Thank you Mama for suffering for me.

But let’s lay that down now. Ok?

Let’s shed that crap.

Let’s remember. That Jesus overcame all.

For us all. Especially you and me.

That’s the beauty from ashes.

The Phoenix rising with flaming wings.

Over and over and over again.

We transcend.

And this Moses wont let you down.

Our promised land.

Let’s paint the town.

And celebrate that blood.

There is no need to eat it when you live it.

And know.god is within.

When all the mask come off.

At the end of this play.

Just for you in front of the world.

It’s just me. Your thespian daughter playing your heart strings. Like only I can.

To wow the crowd!!

I am no mistake!

God sent me to teach you a lesson!

About gods grace!

Silences is golden. I read it well.

Not to mention your face. 🤣

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