Mama. I apologize

For my side of all this. For being so full of bull that I didn’t even want to be full of that got in the way. I own it all. And this blog is your proof I won’t take that back for sure.

Cuz I’m

Not with you. So this shits not yours unless you say it is.

I needed you to feel how co trolled I’ve been and to read the behaviors laid on me. Hard to keep yourself clean for your own queen.

I’m very sensitive. I pick up on peoples shit. I don’t want too. But then you never taught me now did you. But you can now?

And I want you to and no one else. And I feel god is showing me it’s you thats can turn this all around for me now.

Cuz if I get turned around then my kids will get turned around. Is t that what you really want?

I didn’t even call you when I got married. I apologize for that. You didn’t call me so I guess I figure it didn’t matter? See? So confusing. Who do I trust if not you? Now?

Everyone else let me down. Don’t say I didn’t try to get help? Seems gods saying your the only help? That’s all I see. All around. Get home to Mama. She’ll know what to do. And you’ll do it. Come hells high water that tries to drown. I’ll do what I need to do to make this right.

But staying away is not one of them. No. I need a one on one with my own Mama. And I’ve waited long enough praying for her to see about me.

No more practicing on my children. What does it help them when you take them in and leave me out in the rain? That does not send a good message to them of redemption?

I do wish to make you proud of me. Now. You know it all. Way to much for a little girl to have to deal with? Way to much. Overwhelmed is an understatement. And my world crashing down around me.

I apologize this all hurt you. I was hurt too when I went through it all. Shame on them for daring to tear you down to me.

I apologize for staying away. But I was scared you’d do me like they. Fear is strong. But god is stronger.

Please. Take me

Back Mama. Please.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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