Are you kidding me? It’s a jungle out here without your own Mama.

I’m not kidding. And the sad thing is my family thinks I actually believe what I’ve written here? They now think that’s me? Seriously?

Telling the truth told you you? Ain’t easy. People think the truth spoken is a direct reflection of who I am? Hell no baby. Not me.

I may be covered in the shit the world said, but I’m not the shit people said. That’s why I am so pissed! Lying dogs. Lies to me. I told on them. Now Mama thinks that’s me because the truth they said that I repeated telling all to my own Mama? Seems to be like some mud mask from hell I can’t seem to wipe away?

Guess I need Mama to help me with that too. It’s so upsetting to be falsely accused of what some other jack ass said? Yes. I’ve delivered all the messages in the twisted manor I received them. No. They don’t make sense to a woman who’s always loved her own Mama and has been lied to to long.

I want the truth from my own Mama and for her to refute it all for my sake. For my minds sake all jammed up with lies from people that don’t even know who my Mama is? Seriously messed up those people talking all that smack to me. Think I would not tell on them?

Oh please. I’ve been waiting for God to just let me barf all that junk up. I mean yeah. I kept it to tell Mama. And it did keep me full of shit. But. It did maintain the precise amount of room when gone for Mama to move on in and take the hell over. Like sure you dumb ass idiots want to hang out in my mind till you can see the real deal? Alright them. Your gonna see the real deal. And then get kicked the hell out by my own Mama when she sees all of you inside me? Words Mama. Words that hurt. Talking smack about YOU! And my sisters and family line.

And people just want me to take it cuz my own Mamas not here with her fine broom to chase those haters away?! Tale advantage of my loving nature. Too long! I’ve forgiven. Now I want my own Mama so I can forget.

I want my own Mama so we can forget. Like throw it in the sea of forgetfulness like gods tells us too, together. Let that shit go. Together. Not apart anymore.

Is she telling me? That’s to much to ask when she now can see all I’ve been through for her?

I’ve asked God for this my own Mama. And I’m still asking. Send a dove with an olive branch please so I know I can get off this boat lord!

I want my own Mama! I want my own Mama now.

I would please like to have my own Mama now lord. I’ve learned my lessons lord. Ain’t no one like her. I’ll appreciate her and love her til I die. I’ve stood tall and stood up for all my family line. I’ve done the best I could. Been held back by people who didn’t even want to see my potential. Trying to trip me up and making themselves look like fools for not appreciate the gift my Mama gave them?

Mama don’t know evil like I’ve seen with my blue eyes crying for her. She’s right. It made me angry for her and me? Disrespect the giver disrespect me. And just try to buy me out will ya? I’m not for sale! My love for my own Mama is not for sale!

Lord. Please send the sign. Thank you. Amen.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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