Guess I’m trying to figure out why my Mamas so pissed at me?

She could be upset with adoption?

It’s not my fault I never got over her?

It’s not my fault nothing made sense?

It’s not my fault I felt out of place?

And longed for home, which was her.

That’s what’s upsetting.

Because of adoption now I’m the bad guy?

Lunatic who’s telling her truth?

That’s. What’s got me so pissed.

And my kids don’t seem to get me either?

And does my Mama explain to my precious youngest child why her Mamas so upset?

Everyone’s telling me to shut up and play nice.

Excuse me please.

My Mama need to know what happened to me.

And the truth is the only way to call adoption out.

She needed to know all I heard and saw while she was thinking it was all good in the hood with me.

I’d like to withdraw too? Where?

To my room at her house?

But there’s no room at her house for me?

Her hearts closed off to me?

She’s to busy to see about me now.

I don’t want her to have anymore regrets.

And now that she knows my truth about this side of adoption. Maybe? Or maybe not?

She’ll see gods trying to give her and I a second chance.

That’s what gods all about.

Face your sins. Confess them. And receive a clean slate. Right?

But if we don’t confess our sins to one another them how can god even give us this second chance?

Adoption took us all for a ride.

And I learned better.

Unity is gods way. And facing this is key. Together. Not alone anymore.

Mamas carried her shit long enough and our buck stops here and adoption can take a damn hike for all I care.

No. You hijacked my Mama for long enough. Give her back.

Lord. Hear my cry. Heal Mama before it’s to late. I want this for her even if she can’t see how amazing it all will be.

Help Mama really trust you this time.

Like don’t worry? Mama jeans doing really good. She’s got me. She goes to see her fiends who’s children placed them in care and I’m with her. She’s blessed and surrounded by David and Angela. Love is all around her.

And there’s more than enough love to share with my own Mama now.

That’s what Mama Jean wants Mama to see? All she did with her seed?

But Mamas got to get clear of anything that holds her back from being able to see the blessing after this storm of gobbled d gook of past junk is gone.

Cuz at the end of each of my days.

I believe. In God. And second chances.

For even Mama, Mama Jean, and Me.

Faith. Is alive in me. Mama sent faith away. And faith came home.

Even if I’m in California and she in Oregon.

I made it home. By believing God would help me get there.

Forgiveness isn’t just a word you say. It’s something you show after telling the whole truth so help you god.

Forgiveness is my fuel.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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