Don’t just think I am talking to a breeze.

Cuz I’m talking to my own Mama who’s talking hello smack about me. Calling me crazy. Not listening. Thinking she knows it all.

And I am going there cuz my Mama can think differently if she knows differently.

And she not known about me. Now she does. I’ve given her the full 411. And shown her the complicated machine she sent me to live within.

Adoption sucks. Cuz my Mama is now broken. Even thought we share blood? Her mind says we are not related?

Yes. I am triggered as hell. I’ve been going to counseling. And I still want better for me and her than this. This bullshit that adoption started I am working to end.

And. I’m gonna take a break.

She did cut off a child. Over and over and over and still. We are connected.

It’s sucks to live a life where your own Mama after years of a break from her own daughter just can’t seem to show up and begin again.

And I’ve cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and no. No. No.

Well. Ok Lord. You opened this door and Mama closed it again. So. I’m gonna give it to you.

And I pray. You take this away and help me to just move on. I’ve seen enough.

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