What I just can’t swallow is this.

What I can’t swallow is this, that because I was adopted, orphaned, abandoned, I basically am expected, to just suck it up and be grateful. I’ve come to this conclusion after pushing the boundaries with my Mamas to really see what they were trying to say to me?

They both have not appeared to even want me to be satisfied. As long as they get what they want, which means, until the die? I can just go suck a lemon and live in a garage for all they care. Wow.

After time and observation it appears I have not one but two dead beat Mamas? That’s how it looks to me. They could change? True. But they seem to feel so entitled to not. How sweet. And naive of them to think I’d carry such a weight for their? Pride?

Let me ask you this. What actress gets an Oscar for playing the same of character all day? Same movie. Same girl? Well, the answer is no one. I changed at an age to young to really do so well. It was rough and neither of my Mama really got me I had to scrap and scratch to find woman who could lead me better. Slim pickings around this planet.

I had to become her while raising children to be empowered. I learned while my own Bowles hung on the outside and I stitched them back in in front of my own offspring. So they could see. How it’s done. Because at any minute. Your Mama, your cheerleader, your leader, your nurse, you friend, can be taken from you.

And you will spend a lifetime searching for a woman like her and you’ll have to, even thought they tell you no, she won’t want you anymore, go home to the one person that fits the bill and go and pay that honor that’s due even and especially because she gave you away.

God. Is still god. And god gave me to her first and man took my free will ticket and tried to hide it from me. I found it. In the Bible.

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