Stuttering.

https://www.press.jhu.edu/news/blog/stuttering-and-%E2%80%9Cretraining%E2%80%9D-left-handed-children-mid-century-us

Just like left handed people adopts denied their true place in this world cause stuttering.

I stutter. That’s why I write better than I speak.

We all want to be understood. Especially by your own Mama. And now I’ve got two? And everyone acts like I’ve got one. I DONT!!

I also believe I was both left and right. But maintains both was hard in my right handed world. People just did not get me.

And now? Not even my own Mama seems to get me? What is this place?

I stutter and no one even says a thing. But it’s there.

How can anyone deny me when I am I drifting with this? And being left handed to boot. Both. And the world not having room enough for me to be truly me. I wanted to write with both. And how could my adopted Mom even have a clue? I truly was both? She did not see. And seems to have trouble still seeing all of me.

Maybe? She needs Mamas help to show her how we are? Why not? Mamas not to good for a friend.

Put me back is what I’ve always felt inside. Just put me back. This is the long way. And Mamas gonna be pissed if I’m late. But I’ll tell you what she’s gonna get and ear full. And she not gonna like some of it.

I think Mama thinks we hate her?

But it’s just her behavior. She’s lost her edge.

The woman with a plan stopped cold by her daughter unable to create the new plan. Ok. Got it. And I’m on it.

https://gfycat.com/firsthandtornichidna

Stripped of proper ranking and branch.

That’s what adoption feels like.

Heres another one. ita cruel to place me with a stranger and expect me to just not notice or mind?

adoption doomed the whole success of this half ass experiment with my life, due to faulty informarion and lack of understanding of the natural bonds between mother and child.

And how that bond sets us all up.

Y Ou know? Everyone wants the fast track these days and yet denies it? We can’t go faster going down this country road of an idea.

Stuttering happened due to a few things with me. One day we are gonna get it together and provide more help so folks can process out of trauma and not just stay in it for lack of, fill in the blank.

Why don’t we prepare for messes like this? We go head long and then wonder why we crash? Ideas like adoption must have continual review and updating. And children’s satisfaction should be at the top of the list since it’s costing us the most. You don’t like me writing that? To bad. It’s the truth.

And like one of the white chicks. I say it out load. Gonna write a letter to God the father about this shenanigans!! Then I’m gonna tell my Mama. She ain’t gonna like it. No.

She paid dearly and should be satisfied too.

Mama jean should be satisfied too.

Why aren’t we satisfied and living large?

United? Seems so strange to me all this love talk and it’s just hype and fluff. Cuz if I can’t go home to Mama? After all this bullshit I’ve lived through? We might as well just kill us all. We all must protect the rights of children so they will protect our. Behaviors are taught people. And must be practiced.

I guess some folks came to just be lazy? Losers?

I stutter. And have hearing issues too. My daughter thinks I don’t know that I can’t fight all the battles. My Mama couldn’t fight for me. And I fought as long as I could for Chelsie and yes at some point she’s got to let go of me and own her life choices.

I’m owning mine. And telling ya why.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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