In between the missing Mama I’ve lived a life as a child growing up, a hormonal teen, a church pew warmer and singer of hymns, a friend of many, including and especially those down on their luck, a bride, then a wife, then a mother, on to a divorcee, back to a wife, then much much more.
I love being able to call myself a Mother and stand in the ranks with my two Mamas who did the best they could at the time. I do salute them as I tell adoption off for us three. Screw you man. I know how to win a woman’s heart back.
And in between missin Mama and living my life somehow my smoke signals reach the most high great spirits Jehovah, and god Saw me and heard me calling all day for Mama in my heart of hearts, and answered my call cuz Mama was busy. Evidently her ear could hear me anymore for the words people told her.
I’ve learned about principalities and ruler in the dark places of the mind that get set and need to be reset. From time to time. I’m taking responsibility for my own actions of staying away. And apologizing for also squandering our time together.
We all have challengers and I had a few. But that’s the thing. I’ve over come. Mama just didn’t get the messages cuz god wanted me to deliver them one by one to put her mind at ease. And to show her the love she came for find in me. The one person she never thought would give it to her considering.
And. I’ve shown the signs. And covered them in love just like proverbs says too. It doesn’t say hide them. But cover them with love. Love does deny they are under cover. Love comes to the rescue when all seems lost and covers us with a warm fuzzy blanket and say I know. But I still love you. That’s love.
I know how to love. And how to make folks get out of my way and to trust my love is real and I have a darn good reason for writing about it for five years because my family is worth all my words. I’m not taking that back at all.
Anyone can try to give my family shit. And they now hopefully realize I will go to great length to set someone straight, even if they are my own Mama and family. I love them at the end of each day. And they all need to know. If they don’t see it they can read it and maybe this will all disappear. Smoke and mirrors and blocking a tackle. Sounds like sports and not like a healthy god fearing family should be.
And I’ll say my peace until there’s peace among us and our ranks are restored. And our hearts warms and moral is back on high. We rise above. Or at least this Linda does. To pull other up to safety and a new level.
So I guess I’m
No dope if in between all that and going to Nashville to sing and wining this and that and art and blah blah blah. Always thinking about getting back to Mama? How?
Respect her space as much as you can.
And respect her enough to tell her the truth even if you know she’s not gonna like it.
Respect her enough to tell her anyway.
I know how to earn respect.
I don’t respect the rules of our old engagement.
Over ruled I’d say.
Adoption? You’ve been between us long enough.
Shhhhhh. Just shhhh. Go.
I’ve got this now.
I know her value. You. Don’t even have a clue.