I will love you Mama.

And now ya know.

There’s nothing.

You can do about it.

Nothing can stop Be Linda Mama.

And let me say this.

It’s all your fault.

Not mine.

I can’t help it that God built me with such an infinite supply of love for you?

That I can spew such fowl things the world tried to make me swallow because, I know the taste of love.

We all take a wrong turn and get lost.

But I was never lost, just misplaced.

And being who I am in the sense of I hate losing things and believe my Mama is the same in that regard. She got lost. And God helped me find her and she’s not really happy about what’s all been said and that her daughter is the one to break the illusions of the world about my Mama.

She loves me too. And stayed away to protect me. For some reason she thought I was throwing it all away to dare to even take a moment on her. And I want to know the woman like that and hear her story from the lips that kissed me goodbye thinking I’d never look back.

She’s right in that. I did not look back. I dealt with it all. And set folks straight all day and they cry when they look at me and hear my voice as I tell them and show them my love for her is the fuel to all that I’ve ever done.

And I will give the proposed devil her due.

In front of God and everyone.

Yes!! I know! It’s fucked up!!

And I love her anyway!

So world?! Mothers matter. Take heed to what and how you treat the children of Mothers that need help raising the children of tomorrow. We all matter.

And know that there was always a comparison.

I had the best and you told her she wasn’t!!

Damn you.

Not me. Or my Mamas and family.

Cuz we will rise this I know.

I could not allow my Mama to deny herself any longer and chose to break down any wall that inhibits her from feeling free to visit me, yell at me, hug me, even slap me. I might? Storm out. And drive away. Cuz I don’t want that and I’m trying to begin again each time but my family is still adjusting to me and it makes it rough for us all.

My Mama has paid enough. And I’ve cleared this air between us with the force of heaven and my ancestors including all my fathers. They cheer me on. They knew her.

I’ve always felt a strong connection to my ancestors. I just had to live without many of them. Which makes me very spiritually connected as a whole. I do cross boundaries because they help me. They show me the buttons to push on Mama. And I just trust and type what comes.

They help me remember and come to turns with my losses. They love Mama deeply and want success for us all. This reunions has organic value for our family unit as God beings back what’s been removed. Everyone has their part to play and my family has no idea what they missed without having me.

They haven’t woke up enough to recognize it. That they all have a secret loss. We all lost and must recognize it so we can move beyond our wildest dreams together. Yes. God can do that.

And excuse me it feels good to type I love my Mama here. I’d like to yell it. So typing it’s not as loud but in the end way more effective.

Someone told me I wouldn’t get my Mama back through my blog? But? It’s helping me dial in beyond my own shock and trauma to help Mama with hers and my sisters with theirs. They are so numb they don’t even see it.

But I’ve been so wounded I was numb. For years. And then I’ve felt the first pains and the waves that keep coming and I have weathered this storm. I will make this my bitch. My pain told me I lost someone. Ask yourself? Would you forget your Mama?

So why expect me too?

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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