My Mama thinks the things I’ve written are bad coming from her own daughters mind?
Yet these things are said all day about Mamas just like her.
Adoption appears to have lead my Mama to believe that repeating what’s been said about her means I believe what was said to me about her? Let me write that again to make it clear how the twist goes. She appears to be offended by what I’ve repeated, which was repeatedly said to me? Like it didn’t offend me too?
Just because I finally said it out loud. Or wrote it publicly. Same thing. It does not mean it came from me. I’m just the lovely messenger of truth to Mama.
She thought that the world really was ok with this choice? But they are clearly not. Because in the shadows people told me such things like my Mama doesn’t care about me?
Back stabbing people. Stabbing at Mama in me, who was the one that God made me from? Calling her an unfit vessel that I came from. Strangers telling me who my own Mama was to me? Wtf? And this blog proves it all wrong. Cuz I care. And she made me. And she cares too. You all are wrong about her.
She blown away by it all. It’s a lot to process in 5 years after a lifetime of protection from the truth. The truth has not come to destroy my Mama, but to bring her clarity about all she’s been through by helping her know that I loved her all along and knew God would help me sort it out with her one day that’s today. Each day I work to help her see it all clearly by adding my side.
Being adopted is like being a child who goes out to play and learns a new word and brings it home to share with Mama and you find out it’s not a good word by your Mamas reaction?
It’s like learning about yourself and family in reverse. I’ll take it anyway I can at this point. I am grateful for finding my Mama. I’m not grateful that she was so turned around and to traumatized to even see the real me?