Love’s not a box idea.

  • My Mama ain’t experienced love like mine since Daddy.
  • A force to be reckoned with.
  • I’d say I’ve had plenty of time to calculate the losses and gains of this situation with me and my own Mama.
  • I came home to settle it.
  • And to give an accurate accounting
  • So Mamas OCD can stop trying to account for her loss of me in everything she touches.
  • There’s a reason Mamas like that.
  • Giving me away gave her OCD and a lifetime of emotional traumas without me. Fact.
  • I’ve got the same symptoms. But I’ve worked on them. Freeing myself and righting us in time.
  • I know with every fiber of my being what Mama was trying to do. I mesmerized her in 9 months.
  • Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do!
  • She’s my Mama. She is the back of my hand.

Mama messed her own family and mental math us giving a precious piece of herself away to a stranger. A stranger who learned the worth of my Mother in the child given to her. She learned about Linda and Huey.

You wanna see Mama relax? Get me home.

I’m her missing piece. And yes. I know it.

She knows it too. But how do you break out of a lie?

The truth.

Life staring to make a bit more sense to Mama with my missing pieces added to her puzzle. Chelsie. A fine example of the me that needed her long ago. Thanks Mama. I needed to see that. Just like you need to see Chelsie and me reunited. So you can see how it’s done.

Rifts can always be mended with Gods divine thread and needles. Chelsie holds a special price of me that you got to see but couldn’t see it in me because of the past that clouded your view of me. So eager to see success in her yet denying success in me? So silly a mind game.

You want my children yet don’t want me?

Why?

Because of words I write and said?

Is that love Mama?

And have I not forgiven your unconscious neglect all these years?

Have I not kept coming back to you?

That is not love? Hmmm?

Well? What’s love Mama? Boxed wine? Or fresh stream water?

Chelsie’s a fine example of the me that could have been with your touch Mama? Yeah. That’s what I see? How long was she there? Bingo Bango. Married. Owns a house? Nice.

Only one thing? She’s not speaking to her own Mama? Hmmm? Why?

Is it all on me? Or is it all on us? I know my daughter and she’s very much into groups and cooperation. I guided her when she was a young child leading groups of girls at school and all her clubs and support groups. She passed me up in groups. I do well one on one with ministering to people. I’m proud of her accomplishments.

My children got the book thrown at them and read the riot act! They are trained well. I did not pamper them. My Mama did not pamper me. I’d rather they fought any demons with me by their sides then alone like me.

I’m no demon.

But I’ll play your demon if you need me too.

Peek a boo

It’s all on you if at the end of each day you don’t love me for putting up with all y’all demons and slaying them in broad daylight for you?

Mama send me to acting school but I caught feelings for the characters in my new play so I made them family and she didn’t expect me to bring my troop home.

Adoption may have done a number.

But.

This number don’t play.

All day.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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