Surely

“Surely”, I would tell myself, “when Mama hears about this she will not be happy”. And I was right.

I didn’t see her blocking me?

I didn’t see her changing her P.O. Box?

I did not see her changing her phone number on me?

No, did not see that coming.

I just refused to believe she doesn’t care. Sue me for being crazy to think Mamas won’t do that.

Yes. Mine rejected me back in the day.

And yes. I felt she needed to know about what happened with me. I’d like to hear what happened to her. But I guess the proof in her block all day pudding.

And I waited a lifetime to speak up.

I guess if that’s how she feels, still, after my testimony, then? That’s that?

Time goes by and she and I could be rebuilding?

We could be healing?

We all could be realizing Adoption doopt us all and turned us against each other?

Surely, god will help her see about me. She’s had basically 56 years of a vacation from

Being my Mama and still she avoids her calling?

And yeah! I’m calling her out big time. Wouldn’t you? Want your Mama to know where this also took her? To the point that she believed I was no longer hers when the DNA is clear?

People who love each other disagree. And this is our big disagreement.

Yes. Huey’s my Dad. But I’m not him.

It’s not ok to force children to be raised by strangers and to call it love. Because yo us children it did not feel like love. It hurt. And felt like trauma.

No. It does not feel good that my own Mama keeps reacting like this? I’ve been to counselors. None of them even addressed my trauma? No one saw it as an issue but me. And now that my adoptee brothers and sister are coming clean too? I know I’m not alone. Which means Mamas not alone either cuz Bio Moms are speaking your too. They know they missed it and were doopt too.

Surely. Mama will realize this is her chance to get out of an old way of being and see that we are free now to choose again and to have a new results.

Do something different. Get something different. I’ve done all kind of different stuff to help her. She’s like a crab in the sand, just digging her way down and covering herself up and that sad she can’t see the victory.

She lost giving me away cuz I’m always her daughter and that. Is a good thing.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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