This has always been my fight song.

They thought nothing good would come of you knowing Huey. Guess that proved to be wrong.

Ding dong song

Single words to make a heart open.

My opening statements proved to be a key that magically opened a door Mama thought she locked long ago. My room. Like girl I’m not dead!! Lazarus!! Of sorts.

Mama. I went here cus this counts. Your prayers. Your intentions. Have blown your own mind!! Bravo girl. Truly. Why not?

Hit the mark on that one.

Did my Mama expect less? Knowing herself and her will to live and to deny herself me?

No? Why?

Did she think I’d just be like ok!

She’s been blown away since we parted and my return blew her away again and again each time we meet. It’s electric but I’d not trade a single day. We’ve had together and all her ruffled feathers, hell, my Daddy must have been a looker. She gets all jacked up and blocks and runs away. Run away bride I’d say?

And I’ve got a birth right to ask why?

What has possess her to do such a thing?

There’s not just one answer. And it’s the reader to decide how they judge a woman who chooses this path. Why judge when you can wait and just ask? I’ve heard it all honeys.

I’d like to hear the truth instead of reading her every move. I wish I could not read her every move but I can. Ugh.

And. She acts like I’m not. Twisted. Then she tells me to go get help? Who does that? My Mama.

  • Also. Remember this blog is a stream of my consciousness.
  • Meaning it’s like we think before taking time to order and write down what we are going to say.
  • Unedited.
  • My mama has been asking to know why and wonders what I am thinking? So. I’ve let y’all in to read what goes on in here. Inside my head about Mama.
  • Letting Victoria see my patterning thoughts about Mama and the family.
  • Random? Yes. Good. You spotted that? Great.
  • Cycling? Yes. Like the moon.
  • And I’m not alone. Most people minds jump all over the place.
  • We invented a proper way to speak and it inhibits progress and people get stuck correcting grammar and spelling and mess up the original words.
  • We have a natural was and structure of speaking that is funneled into a framework for reading. Seems a bit off.
  • And appears to be creating psychosis in some who get stuck.
  • Let me explain. A persons is affected by what they are exposed to. Tv. Radio. People. Experiences.
  • Some people have limits set. Limits that come from fears. Let’s face it. The body fears. It’s learning. Cusing. Deemed by many as bad. When? It’s trash. And. Must be let out or it rots within. People seem to not see the link to disease and compressed negative feelings due to being trained it’s bad to swear?

My mind goes all over and that damned good. Like a well oiled machine. And my children have greased my wheels. Thanks to them. Get me all fired up again for life a new.

Why is Mama upset I divorced? She did?

Makes no sense guys?

People do call me crazy. And now Mamas one of them. Damn it!! I never thought she’d fall! Tarnation.

I held my tongue Mama. A very long time about this. And. Well. You’ve now felt fully how it felt and so I guess you’ve finally gotten my meanings and maybe will realize your long over due.

Your Belinda Library cards is demanding payment for being late. We’ve always had a standing date girl. By a stream in a field.

Maybe let’s do it for real now.

It’s not so bad being me. But the shock on people faces when they realize is exceptionally hard to take. When they realize I’m in this body that’s got a mind of its own.

My Daddy and Mama are both strong willed.

I’ve come to love the craziness of them in me.

I want Mama to too.

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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