You’re damn right.

When this contract was drawn up I was a child. Who signed the agreement? Did they ink my hands and feet and force me to sign up? No.

Got ya. Right there.

You all agreed it would be like this or that without my consent. Thank you very much.

Forced into an alter reality.

And. I know I came here to do it with my own Mama. Predestined yo prove our connection and others connections are real and valid.

To? Drive us all out of this Egypt. Making everyone else happy but us?

You gonna try to tell me now my Mama is happy? Oh please. What the hell?

I came in a child. My Mamas agreed to the terms. I had to live with it or die. And I did even more than live. No where does it state I must disconnect from my own Mama. No where. Not even Moses was completely disconnected. Which shows we’ve gotten worse at understand mother child bonds and child survival? Geez guys?

Now? Cut off at the pockets or sharing parenting with someone who can’t produce cuz they aren’t ready? Why play mother father nature like this is what I am saying from a very unique vantage point on my own soap box life experiences? You think you can even knock me down? Ha! Funny. That’s funny.

My Mama made better than that dumb thought?

Loving your own Mama is key yo every relationship you will have? And I’ve done quite smartly I’ll say that? To love them both equally yet differently? Damn right? Most people can’t even handle the one Mama let alone two or more and yet I thrive on it? Good job Mama and daddy and God for making me like this.

Even the proverbs speak of mother and father and the keys to success? Duh? First book I read. I already read the book of JOHN. I know about gods love for me. I did not lead to learn about it. Gods love has always been intact with me.

I went to the chapter about wisdom. Says it a few times about Mamas and Daddy’s. I followed and loved all of me. Even the crazy parts. I can’t help it people are intolerant? All I can do is keep being me. Keep shining my light in hopes they might accept themselves?

Mama did react to my truth. Know that. Stopped her dead in her tracks. Woe Nelly theirs girl. Slow down. Maybe breath a bit. Look out the back window. Remember why he bought this place for you. Awe. Mama. So much I see. And you shit in the way. Clean the windows of your soul. A child was born.

She loves you. Shows up. Cleans up. Cooks. Crafts. Tarot. Prays like a warrior. Married. Divorces. Just like you did. Makes babies. Like you. Kept them. Like you taught me the importance of. 💋

I Listened to my Daddy. Even when she told me not too. Loved him anyway. All despite her. So bad to love your dad. Your funny Mama.

You’re damn right. I love my Mama still. Stopped her. Made her stand still and take some notice up in here!! Hello! I’ve paid the price times thrice for admission. Step aside. Allow me to introduce myself.

Secret weapon daughter who was sent to hell and came back on her own. She called Jesus. Knows who’s got the keys to anything. Even Mamas heart.

Damn right. No one told me not even Mama how to love her. I would not have listened anyway. It’s how it supposed to be. And if that makes you uncomfortable well. To bad. Maybe we need to change the status quo around here or something? I do what come natural.

Whatever my Mama threw at me or me into? Was what I came to do. Cuz she couldn’t. Or she would have. She needs to know without a shadow of any doubts that I love her.

Rest In Peace while your alive Mama. Death is not needed here. I paid thrice to insure your healing Mama.

I have spoken to the words spoken over us both and refuted their contexts here with us. Mother to daughter. No matter. I’ve got two. Did you think she could not see you both in me? Already? She loves you both. Crazy and all.

Cuz now? You know she’s connected to you too. It’s fabulous. Science. In motion. Real live connections that lasted and adapted over time and separations. Proof. That it’s real and we can make this better for us all.

Babies are not puppies. And puppies are more than we realize now. Family ties matter.

I watch so many take for granted their family ties. My ex husbands family is bad and good in that regard. Everyone’s got issues. My Mama acts like she’s strange? Yes. Our situation is different. We get to say if it is bad? Or challenging. But we also get to overcome and relish in our success.

Call me mad that I dream of my Mama. And call yourself mad for not being like me. Damned right. I’ve remember what counts and counted what’s remembered everyday of my life.

God

Mama

Mama Jean

And so on. Plan and simple. And I will not apologize. For not putting it in your idea of order. My life. My plan and Gods.

Push on me all you like. I’ve weathered many a storm against the idea of me. Love.

You drove all this way to to my house from California to Oregon to carry my groceries in and fight with me? Yes Mama. I did.

Now let me. You wanna fight all day. Ok. If I can spend time with you and that’s the only way how. Yes. Yes. Sign me up.

You are really cute when you riled up. Daddy had a good eye for a winner. 😉

Your very entertaining indeed.

When I tell folks and I do tell folks about our exchanges? Well they just can’t believe it? It’s blows their minds? It’s hurts them? They want to do something. But what? Write a letter to woman they don’t know? Tell her about her daughter and what she means to them?

One friend told me she would not be alive today without me? You did that Mama. You made a girl like that. Took her in when her family threw her out. Christmas’s time. No presents. Made it happen. You made that girl at 16 who fought with Mama Jean so her friend had a place to stay. Made everyone buy her a present. Told them to be kind. You did that making me girl.

I don’t know what you thought was going on. But lay that down. I’ve got the real 411 about Belinda, girl and I’ll put you in the know. That’s girls crazy genius in motion. Love on steroids. No prisons taken. Transforming fool for love.

Created a girl from you and not completely like you. A dead ringer for who you wanted to be. You gave that to me. Freedom to be myself. And to bring it back to you for inspection. Holy cow!!

Right?

When you mix Huey with Linda you get this sharp yet here. A couple of wild cats tied to get her in my hair kind of experience. But. I just roll with it. No one told me different and Mama Jean wasn’t gonna change me. You got to tide the waves. Linda. Huey. Linda. Huey. Dancing cheek to cheek in me.

Mama would not have been in the back seat of a Chevy with a rapist. He gave her a pin. He melted when he met me? Mama had been told some crap that clouded her view. And controlled her choices. I think Grandpa did that. Yes. I do. My gut says he kind of? Made Mama that way. He should own it too.

Daddy’s make choices too and wish they could change it. Huey. Gerald. They had there’s if they could do over. This is as do over as Mamas gonna get. Hash it out. Grandpas so proud of you. Not of his programming issues. Things he told you that he’d like to change.

Don’t get hung up in your own garbage. I know mine well enough to know what Mama and I have been dealing with is her mind about it. Not her heart. She’s fried so long she’s been stuck in denial mode. People can change. Mama is no exception to that rule. No matter age or education.

We are finding our way right now. She and I. In front of God and everyone. Parading her around. Taking her for a spin. Look!! What I got here fellas. Ain’t she a beauty. Seems Mamas not used to her daughter flirting with her? 🤣🤣

Flirt. Encourage. Whatever you call it.

I’m pretty sure she hiding on the floor boards of this parade thinking she can hide, when she’s the one who made the parade happen? Funny Mama. Real funny.

She’s seen no humor in it? But I have. Humor is a medicine people. Hello.

Damn right. I’m tired of even seeing the role you all wish me to play. It’s my turn up to this plate. Home run. All the way.

Try. To stop me.

It’s destiny.

Hell. Even I can see that. Johnny bench would be so proud how I called the game. 💋

And rewrote the play book better than before.

Everyone should feel like a winner here. If Mama ain’t winning none of are winning? Duh?

Living a life like adoption has lead us to believe we should is what’s stopping right now. Not me and Mama. We can never stop loving each other.

Why? Would a mama stop loving and wanting her baby? Why? Would this even be a damned option I ask? Seriously traumatic for all involved as they wake up to the truth beyond what adoption said it would be?

It’s about telling Mama she can come out of the cage she put herself into long ago. Saying. Your free girl. Free to love me. Or not love me. My love is not contingent on whether my Mama ever gets it guys. I can’t change how I feel cuz Mamas turned around and confused about why her girl be blogging all this shit out to make a point. To make a president. A honest account of my life and experiences that shaped me and the emotions that went along with all the changes I’ve had to go through to maintain my true connection of love to my own Mama.

Beyond all that’s been required of me as an adoptee. Public figure undercover. Fully visible. Yet invisible and deadly to dumb ass ideas. I have served well in my station. And am proud of my valor and fortitude afforded me through this body I was given.

I will not step aside or back down on my stand in regards to the practices I myself have had to live with for years. My assessment stands before all. For all to see. Public record from the source.

My speech to the woman caught in adultery. Not being honest about it. Instead of accepting that she’s not monogamist. What king was? I ask? Shall woman be treated as dogs to be contractually own all day? No. They should not.

Go. And sin no more. Code for: girl. Don’t lie. No one cast a stone. That said. We all guilty of it. Don’t lie about it. Back in that time men took on more than one wife. And woman could too. But must be honest and own her own shit. Husbands are not Cheap ladies. 🤣

Lordy? House full of men? Couch potatoes. Zombies these days? And don’t even think ladies were not with other ladies? Since the beginning. We need to get real. Not everyone. But accepted as a way. Publicly displayed affections. When did we get so punish about heaven? Where Adam and Eve naked and unashamed or not? Why are we not naked is a good question to ponder?

Many reason that we need to deal with and educate away. An educated mass is a prepared mass.

It’s deeper than we even think? To sin is to miss the mark. Go and miss your mark no more. What was Mamas missed mark? Anyone dare to post an answer?

psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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