She seems to think I can’t see that?
Wake up girl?
Haven’t you heard the news?
She found you!
My Mama is a Virgo.
Meticulous to the core.
And yet? Balanced somehow?
She locked the hubs up when you got the call. Screeching to a fault.
Do you want now?
So motherly. No? I’ve said it myself.
To my kids.
Tugging on her virtual skirt tale from California up to Oregon, letters delivered by past husbands to het eyes only.
I pricked that crusted heart of hers with words that cut her to the quick.
Pierced the lies. In two swoops.
Lay one hurt a little. It was the deepest.
I know how to help my own Mama guys. It’s bread into me. 🤣🤣🤣 sour dough!🤣
She’s like I’m busy girl!!
30 years latter I get, “not now”
I’m not ready? So commitment issuish.
Like? Hmm? Wonder if she’s was like this with my Dad kind of vibe?
Yep. Probably right. Bingo ding ding ding.
Ping. Ringa ling.
Stuck denying herself a blessing so great?
Such a tragedy.
Waste of a good life.
She could have been so much more than just a donor.
She could have been known as more than a donor?
Donations of time. Ripple in time.
At donation time.
Mama? Have you got no donations for yourself. All spent on worthy causes? Yet not spent on you? Your body is temple that God choose your live in. As in all of us.
Your temple makes other temples better and must be maintained. Proper inner actions with ones children is a persecution that every Mama on the planet should partake in and give to one another. Especially woman who share a child like us?
It’s a better rule. And includes our need for both in it. The old rules are broken and break people. That’s not how god wants us to do. Plain and simple.
We must face this. Boldly and correctly. Putting the children’s needs first. What promotes connectivity. All should be adopted. Not just the children. It is in fact a merging in the making.
I am this mergers closer. As I bring it into the physical realm and my Mothers meet. This is the mark we all can strive for and attain with work and time spent.
Our Mamas matter and don’t let anyone tell you different!! Not even when she tries to tell you they don’t. Don’t listen to the denial. That’s your Mama. Yours forever till we die Mama.
What. Are you waiting for?!!! Go! Find her. No. It’s won’t be easy. Being adopted wasn’t easy. But follow that heart and tell the head to go away. Make it happen. Just like your Mama helped make you happen!!
She’ll test you. To make sure your ready. She knows what you went through. She went there too. She wants to know you learned the lesson about a lie. That you know her truth too.
My mama is so hard on herself. She thought I have been talking about me and how I feel. Nope. Just pushing those buttons Mama. Getting you all fired up. So you could show me. Right where you’ve been standing. Waiting on some dumb thing to see?
Some sign? Like three times ain’t enough? I apologize that Daddy let your down Mama. That you let yourself down. That it’s taken me acting like my Daddy a lot to jar your mind loose of all the bad you told yourself to maintain such a position away from me. I get it.
But? Daddy does have his ways and I own them. And use them well for the good. Naturally. I only notice when I review the past. I see his magic in me working on you. So cute.
And yes. Weird that I think this indepthly. True.
Very forward thinking.
I do realize that. But that is no reason we are unable to come to some kind of eye to eye stance is all I am saying.
What is all this Mama? It’s not mine with you?
I came up with presents and Kraut and to see Chelsie Lynn? My baby? Seriously!
And met some wide eyed woman wielding a chefs knife? Calling my sister to slam a door in my face? Like wow?
No. I did not like your behavior either. I did not call the police on you either. I simple drove to your house to discuss it rationally and was met with some woman who appeared to have lost her mind about me?
No shame girl. That must have been a rough time. And I’m glad I came and fought with you silly girl. I feel like Daddy did get that about you. So tough. So scared for folks to see you cry.
I feel ya there. I remember the young me.
Your Daddy loves you. Get that one for sure. And don’t tell me you know cuz you ain’t acting like it sister. I’m Hos granddaughter and all our ancestors can. See this shit from there.
What would daddy really want Mama? This?
Or what I’ve been introducing you too? Hmm?
Never been called out have ya?
Well? Check that one off the list now.
Baby girl don’t mess around.
I know how you are and how you came to be and act.
Not like this. Some stuck in a rut lady. Surrounded by stuff.
You’ll never forget the stories are what matter.
You should be traveling!! Sell the house. Buy a nice rv. You can drive it if my 90 papa could with his aging wife nana? Just a bunch of maintaining anyway.
Maintain you girl. Take pills ashes wish and sprinkle that man around. Together. Always Mama.
Take the dog. Go camping with Angela your granddaughter. And hear her tales around a fire of love that she fuels for you. Mama.
So much has ahead. So much. With us together.
Wishes for our lives.
Round camp fires.
Warmed by souls that come together
Restore loves fires.
Roasting each other.
Laughing at ourselves.
Impressions told by children
We laugh at our dramatic reactions.
And the storm will come.
But the tarps are ready
We feast on our love eternal.
Our role reversals
Our moments now
Vast expansions of mental proportions
As we now see the wider pictures of our lives woven together by the supreme weaver.
I was woven into the fabric by you my Mama. Each day. This I know about you. And I stocked you in back. That’s love.