You ever carry something so long that when you put it down? It’s like….

I’ve carried something every heavy my whole life. I’ve carried something that my Mama also carried. Grief. Sadness mixed all in with joy.

And when you’ve carried something so long when that thing or energy is finally laid down? The person is left feeling off balance, wobbly. Strangely uncomfortable. Because the weight has twisted the body, and mind so much that it takes a minute here in the 3D to recalibrate.

Mamas been holding her end, not realizing who was holding the other end? ✋ hey! Yeah. Me here! Holding up your bargain. I’ve carried this weight my whole life with you. Not against you. You’ve done that yourself. Not my shit.

And I came home to take the load off of us all karmicly. I came to bring the real balance back. Four is the number of balance. Four daughters equals balance. All in there places. And places for us all.

And I’m showing the world with god how to restore balance in the mind body and spirit. Not just one or two. All of it. I know my mission may seem crazy because it’s being written by me and god through my actions and words.

I’ve wrestled with the devil to restore what the canker worm took for the family the day I left. And being even more than expected back from my journeys in the world without Mama. Wonders. Stories of God.

It’s taken me a while to sort through all I came to change inside of me for both sides of my DNA and to set it straight again. Like an arrow.

To come and show the world a kind of love that’s seemed few and far between. A fierce love that overcomes adversity. Extinguishes all fires. Stop gossip in her tracks. And humbles those who think they know it all about love.

My life defies many people ideas of what love is. It’s my condition. My sickness. To love despite of what I see or feel, until I see and feel the love I know is real. Where did I learn of this love and feel it first? Inside my Mamas belly. Despite her being upset I was growing. Despite how I arrived. Despite being abandoned. Despite everything.

Love like a tractor that just mows everything down. Love that just climbs the damn mountain and pokes a flag into the top. Love that can drag a gutter and find souls to revive. Breath life into. Inspire again. Much like cpr of the soul.

Yes. This surgeon will cut you. In your mind. And tie up those loose ends if you get me.

Mamas been all hunched over and really resigned to her fate. But god. I love that twist plot. God’s always got a good twist plot. Had bigger plans for even Linda marie to see coming at her. And I laugh and how silly she looked all deer in her head lights. Staring at her girl grieving defending her honor and thinking it was a curse. Fighting with me. Blocking me. Her own flesh?

Do you see the sickness yet? Psychosis. So deeply rooted by ideas and fables with not a shrewd of truth in them. Lead her to treat her own flesh this way? She’s not to be damned. She’s to be lifted up so she can see the big picture from her daughters vantage point.

Because she threw me not away. She threw me higher. And this girl. Her child. All grown up is reaching back per her father in heavens orders to pull her up. To the level her faith sent me. Her seed. Yeah. For real. I was sent away to go higher and get my Mama there. Hell or high water. Without fail.

I lived a lie to see the truth. The truth of love so deep. Virgo deep. Cave deep. Well deep. Belly deep. Flesh of flesh and bone of bone. And yes fight even the woman who raised me if she got out of line about who’s who and what’s what and goes where in this heart of mine. I know who goes where and does what.

And. At 56 years old. I’m grown and so not need two woman telling me how to live my life at all. But I would release some appreciation for all my efforts. And maybe some supportive encouragements if these two woman can get over their own egos.

You think I am arrogant? That’s you. I know who I am and there’s nothing wrong with being my own cheerleader. As you can clearly see mine have seemed to have been incapacitated.

They don’t even act like they like each other? And I’m caught in between? Or was. Now I am just reporting what I’ve observed. Watch two woman act so illmanorly.

I’ve clearly stated the protocols per there own era? And yet? This lack of decorum continues? When will it end? Because I’m not child to be shewed away due to being to busy for me? No. That does not create a very good reputation at all lady’s. You both look quite silly? And childish. I had to share. Myself. For you both.

And you to act like it’s ok? To deny me praise and love and encouragement and sisters and family? And even my own child? The jigs been up. I’m just being thorough. Cleaning this shit up for good.

Sure? Maybe the sisters seem to be ok acting like this? Who did they learn it from? Yeah. What will your grandchildren say? Poor grandma? What will your great grandchildren say? Cuz this stories out. And part of our fabric.

Consider your next moves carefully. Cuz it’s not me your both dealing with. It’s god. I’m just the messenger. I chose to show up and answer god’s call to love your asses anyway. Just like god does. But god don’t have to like your actions honeys. Nope.

Time to change them actions. Or you’ll loose me. And both watch me fly away. Without you. Damn the you’d that could do me like this? Your own daughter? And make the kids have to watch you both show your asses as I wake you up in public per my orders.

That’s ain’t no high horse honeys. It’s a lama. 🤣🤣🤣🙌

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