And You Mama’s have been up to your bat long enough. Little sister here, you know? The baby on both your proverbial hips has a few things more to say….In my reframe, refrains, poetic justice juice, medicine for the Mother Loving souls that are you two beauties……
My Queens got this shit all lopsided. Please excuse them, a wardrobe change of the mind takes a minute. While I wash, comb and style their hair that was quite a mess I must admit, with all of yesterdays garbage and this and that hanging out. Its bound to happen? We pick shit up and just never lay it down.
How do I know this? I am glad you asked that question! Let me break it down.
The Movie the Ya Ya Sisterhood depicts it well. And instead of just one Mama who’s lost it? I had two. I had one going through the shit storm back in the day of my birthing, and one who picked up her Karma child and lost it for her. Sounds crazy? What do I mean?
Glad you asked that. Let me break it down for ya.
Mama did not have a fabulous time giving me away. And Mama Jean did not have a fabulous time adopting a child from a woman who could would and did give hers away?
No it was not easy. But they stuffed that shit down and trudged onward. And most unconsciously dragging me in toe, both holding onto one side of me, hand in hand and yet quite invisible to the naked eyes. Except mine, blue, crystal clearly seeing those brown eyed beauties working together in perfect tandom, raising me. Yep. They did.
I did not realize this fact? Until I was 18, as God began to open up my mind to Mama’s chatter about me, her prayers. It seemed up until that time, she was invisible, so a part of me? I did not even notice her, cybermomming me. Kind of funny and yet? So scary. To a girl trying to be good and falling into all kind of trouble she did not even start.
Listen. Being Adopted? Means two Mama’s be working on those kids. Don’t even think I went off to princess camp without a cost to them both! Like two peas inside my pod! And sometimes like a bur in my side! Thank you Jesus! Gotta love two Mamas that never met. And yet are the best of friends, loyal to each other, and truly want the best for each other.
But? Being products of the times they have both traveled through? And even the times of today, when spanking or hitting your child is deemed abusive? Sure? I got into he lot and said my blah blahs, but not just for sport mind you? No. I use my words and the words said to my own Mamas against their minds and carved that shit right out and called those demons to my attentions, lead my Gods attentions always.
My blue eyes see to brown eyes looking at each other when I speak to either of them! And they both are just oblivious! To the other one watching. Its so maddening!When I interact with Mama Jean, Linda! Yes, Linda inside me in jumping out of me screaming!!!! see me! I love you truly!!!!! Please. And when I talk to Mama, Mama Jean with her steady steely, brown eyes stares at her with respect and reverence, trying to make her see the sense of me. Longing, for Mama to be pleased with what both of them did. Not to take all the glory, because its a triad for god sakes?
I will remind us all. That when two or more are gathered together, I, God am in the middle. Hmmm? Am I god? I could be an angel, sent to love two silly woman back to their sense, yes? If one believes in the supernatural? Considering we live on a planet spinning in space 1000 miles an hour, hanging by no string? Could be possible.
Who knows? The child that was in the body could have died, and an angel took her, his place? One thing I know for sure is that I am on a mission to win a couple of souls, Mama’s first always.
You probably haven’t considered all the angles Ive presented here. No, most people don’t. But I the spirit that inhabits this body of a woman adopted does. And I am speaking from within her, through her struggles to those woman first. I know my mission is to win them first….And the win is that they both take a moment, and consider my words, and remember that they both have always mattered and that God has blessing we don’t even see coming. Once all the nightmares are played out like cards on the table, they both will see each other. I stake my life on this fact…And my children know this about me, I don’t make a bet I won’t win….Mark my words. My life is now on the line, chop away ladies if you must, I will die for my stand about you both beyond all the nightmares you all have been chattering about thinking I could not hear you both.
Because this is a holy sacred union ladies. One that was not taken lightly, nor taken lightly by me, the person in between you both, holding on for her dear own life beyond this grave of dead ends with no detour. As you try to kill me, and not the dumb ideas? Go on. Keep going, you will get your way. Maybe then, you’ll both see each other at my funeral? Maybe peace will return then? After both your Egos god slays.
I wish, I could have made it stop. Like you both keep saying in your heads. But no, I could not stop hearing both of you fighting over how I would be raised. And? I listened to both of you and did what was best for me. Please excuse me a minute for having a damn opinion?YOu can pray all you want Mama that God takes this away, but like JOB! You will have you blessing after God takes out what is not needed, and it ain’t me.
Please excuse me people reading for jumping in and out of persons in my sentence structures. This is huge. I am including you in our reframing, to show it done. This pea in my pod times two is deep and needs a very sharp knife to dig out of us all. Someones got to lance this boil or we all die and loose the missions spoils at the end of this long journey to our promised land. And these two woman, being woman love to get off task and go shopping to deflect the changes that need changing these days? But? Not to fear, Ive been clocking these two for years without GPS. So thanks, I got this. I am not alone, just remember that. Long dark halls are my forte. In fact, we three woman here that I write about have been walking in darkness for years, they just never used the light between n them before and are like two deers in their own headlights right now, with me all lit up like their Christmas tree in their middles.
I am beaming! Saying, this way, this is the way, but those two have been walking in perfect circles around each other in me for years? Why does she act like that, that is not me? Oh my goodness. To be me looking at them is just mind blowing. For them. With my prayers.
Mama Jean is very minimalistic, Mama is very creative and loves to see her belonging all around her to remember the stories of how she came to obtain them and who was with her, or who gave them to her. Not easy growing up with to opposites attracting through me? They only know them, and don’t even seem to see me? What about the girls? Oh, why is she so special? blah blah blah. Because I am special, and your special to dummies! Seriously? Sisters that have had Mama all to themselves and still struggle to share? With a Mama who gives and gives and gives and they cant even get with a new program that includes me? seriously so lopsided.
And knowing my Mamas wander? Ive been praying for the way. All they knew was the old way, which for me? Is tearing my heart apart into pieces. And going on without them both in my life fully is just not an option. God can take me home for that matter. I am ready. I have said my pieces. Whatever. I am that dead serious. This has got to change. I am here, working my ass off, and if you ladies think my children, my sisters, and their children don’t feels this rift? Your both incredibly self centered and a bit crazy.
Commanding officers do get off track when those who are lead stay silent. Surely Trump depict that for your examples. And a Mother is the first trainers. I have two. And you all need to get with this new program that is so amazing it will make it so you don’t even need socks to be blown off. My children deserve, my sisters and their children deserve this win, for two woman, friends to the quick to meet. It is a sin to not meet after all this time and me airing out the dirty laundry so no one has to worry about woman work anymore, so we can drink the tea Chelsie Lynn wants to drink with both of you by her side!!!!!!! Of course darling child, Your Mama is working her soul off here for that tea!!! In heaven with you by my side again.
Of course I want to really get to know my sisters?
Of course I want to be fully restored to my rightful places within the family unit.
Of course I want to be able to get past all that has happened!!
But it takes three ladies. Three to tango this tango we all signed up for and we gonna tango!! And drink tea or I will die trying and practicing, and blogging and doing all I can to make you both see yourselves within me! With LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you add Linda, and Huey, and Elmer and Jean? You get a Be in your bonnets thats lethal to an old way honeys. And? I might add? My fathers may have been deemed reckless and a mess. But those men are dead now, and surround me everyday with love to walk this long dark valley with you both to your light of a new day. BESt believe, God would not keep my fathers from me at my own hour of need, while you two sit and don’t even reach out to love me back, so caught up in your own nightmares I had to call them all out like Johnny Bench at some ball game and kick you both back into play!
I want some tea too! Chelsie Lynn!Great idea! Good idea, move away, go get married and buy a house. Live your life! That in precisely what Mama wanted you to do while I work on these two old broads, trying to blame the child for all their issues! Good on you baby girl. I will say this baby girl, “How dare either of them say I messed you up?” How dare they? You are perfectly perfect in every way. Like they never had a habit? Oh please Nelly! avoidance behavior to the nines!!! And they want to blame the one in the street facing the dragon demons they let slide? Like get it together ladies! Literally. get together or else, I don’t know what Gods gonna do?
I know I am sending the warning messages, if you don’t listen? Its not on me the messenger, its on the listening parties. Its up to you two to read the new lines and act accordingly. I have come home to you both, and you both need to follow my suit or this card game is a crap shoot game.
I wanna sleep over with my sisters and watch their favorite movies, drink wine, whine and complain and then reframe, like everyone else does, but us? I want to know Phyliss and Lizzy Bell. Lizzy Bell should not be so triggered by me. But? She did what you lead her was best, and I am the person to help her through that, instead of just leaving her out in the cold about it. So she can be prepared, and not like you all unprepared Mama? I wanna hear all about their lives and kids and all that good stuff. I wanna make them things, and cook with them. Read books and talk shop. From what I see? Youre the key, you and Mama Jean are key to success.
But like those boats coming up on the horizon, that no one had seen before and couldn’t see because their minds didn’t know what to look for. Like the ripples of the waves that showed that something was coming. The SHAMAN went out each day trying to figure it out and finally saw the ships approaching and could explain it to the tribe so they could see, I carve the new grooves in your mind so you can and do see our promised land too.
Above all I know this: God is about unity. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that our coming together was meant to be, from as young as I can remember, I knew, I would go home to introduce you to Mama Jean. I am the pea in your pod now. You best pay attention and let me out. Because I am already in like flint baby.
You both raised me God damn any story that says different. And I am calling the shots now, you fired them, not me, I am just calling them. Look at me. Go on, look again, both of you, there you both are, right there in one person, working together for our new day.
Now, let Go team….
Mama, your there, Mama Jean, your there, Gran Gran, Lola, Margaret, both Arthurs, Huey, Elmer, Jack, even Phil, and on it goes…. Looking back at you through me, saying, you got this girls, she solid as a rock…. We’ve all ganged up against you! To bless you!!!