That’s what I learned when you sent me away to another land. I learned I didn’t have to take either of my Mamas roads.
Like yes. Follow the leader. And learn the rules of the game. And then? Defy them. Change them. And make new ones.
And it also means my own Mama did not realize that she gave me that power by letting go of me? Which means I bow to God. Alone.
The power to make my own choices without her there to guide me? Or me there to guide her. And this is about justice Mama. Yours. Mama Jeans. Mine? It’s like saying. I get it.
My truth releases us from the bounds of the adoption legal system. I do have a right to make this contract null and void. And to enact a new contract built with all in mind. Win. Win.
That’s what I’m working for. And the way I see it? If anyone’s blocking is in need of realizations. That the truth has always been that I love you always. I respect you. I don’t respect the old scenario. It’s out of date and in need to changing. So we all can feel a win.
I can’t make anyone agree. No. But I can present my case. I’ve only every wanted emotional support. And have watch my, you, own Mama just be asleep at the wheel if you will?
You may not have planned for my return. Which is totally normal for you. I see that. You did not even expect me to come out of all that. I get it. And then to come back? I get it. But yes. I was to come back to you. And to being healing band to walk you through the closing out of the old chapters. To come back and tick all the boxes. And an answering of all questions.
To close the books. So we can create something new. It’s just meant to be Mama? And forgiving me is key. Like? Life is crazy Mama? And we can’t stay hung up on all this? You want me to let go? And yet you’ve blocked me? So you’re the one who’s got to reconnect?
And then? We move into the new? Together. Whoever wants something new and amazing gets it if they just show up. I know. You have been turned around. And even if you say no. I will stand on record having extended this offer. And having taken the time to try to explain. Whether you wanted to hear me or not?
No. Don’t come to me later when I on top. If you think my life is a mess and I’m not blessed? You’re the crazy one.
Call me crazy for loving you? Poppy cock! That’s crazy. For my own Mama to think I am crazy for maintaining room in my heart for you? Silliness.
Sure? Say I am crazy to love you. Go on. But?most people believe that a child should always strive to love and respect their own Mama? I don’t have to like the actions you chose to make? I don’t have to like that society and the family did not support you in keeping me?
God meant for me to go away from you and to learn what you could not teach me. I get it. And your triggered by what I say. I’m not the trigger. But if I trigger you? It’s in you. Not me.
Remember. I grew up without you to condition me about your triggers. You set me free to come home and trigger the hell. And I mean hell. Right out of you with love. Nothing else.
And I’ve just broken down my healing. It’s you that’s upset. Blocked. Cut off from my love. Your punishing yourself. Let that shit go Mama.
Every time I’ve come to love you? You threw the past up. Not me? And I went there. Which shocked you. You didn’t think I knew? All that I knew. All along. And chose. Was strong enough to love you anyway. That’s strength. Strength I draw from God and my ancestors. They live on the other side. Where love is supreme Mama.
Just admit it. You were wrong. And that actually? A good thing. I defies your imaginations by bring home a damn Hale Mary Mama. I went to RCIA. I am catholic. 🤣🙌
You. Wanted to be wrong about me Mama. Admit it. I shock you. Being so much like that old you. And yet with my own new twists. 💋