I look at this video and see how I was raised.

I see I was abandoned and neglected. And yet. I still formed friendships. I worked well with others at the work place.

And moved away, got married and blah blah blah.

My Moms appear to have some attachment issues to me. Now that I’ve expressed feelings that could not be expressed growing up.

And they detach. Which has made me detach.

Years and years later. I’ve seen the truth beyond the fairytale. Passing the bucks and expecting me to pay dearly for the decisions they made regarding me.

I’m expected to suck it up and live with it the way they want it. And that’s why I write. To express what they won’t even considered, to show the truth seen by the child in the middle of such nonsense.

How does a child fully maintain good attachments with two woman who affect their lives and yet detach all the time?

The task is daunting. Two woman so attached to my outcome. Two woman so detached that they both raised me.

It’s really hot me hard the both of them and their reactions. Stopped me cold in my tracks. Who can I trust now? Me. There’s no going back. They’ve made their choices to turn away from the product of their union. But I won’t turn away from myself.

As an active member of this triad group, as an active participant of this life choice I do feel I’ve earned the right to ask.