Parents program is. Who is the parents?
That’s where it gets dicy for the Adoptees. And what people need to understand is for me? I always have judged what Mama Jean was trying to teach me, or compared her Instructions against my own natural default setting.
Better said? My Mama always was getting in Mama Jeans way. My true North Star was always lit within me? I feel Adoptees are always their parents child, and we already are born with a set point. The Adoptive parents, mislead, entitled, thinking we are just their play dough? Need to know that when we are born? We already have our basic programming through our nine month meet and greet? And through DNA and genetic patterning that is pasted into each child as they grow within their Mama.
Adoption send us into conflict. Because of course, we are not blank slates. We have already learned a language. And now must learn again. We already have learned our Mamas way and our Adoptive Parents will always been a meddling force if they don’t realize that fact and honor our own inner knowings.
And what I have found out in a very backwards way, (Adoption is backwards for sure), that Mama Jeans been trying to tear down what Mama instilled in me during my time growing within her. And I’ve had to fight to maintain my own equilibrium, while informing her, and making her aware? My Mamas been eating her for years. And she’s not pleased at all. Not impressed at all with her meddling with me.
We are born with a set point. That’s why sending us to strangers is really quite cruel and destructive to what was begun in utero. And that we should never leave or let a pregnant woman just give up on her baby. That baby is counting on her. That fact can’t be expressed enough here. It’s a point that must be established as truth and accepted as truth by the wider world. Basic fact about genetics and design.
So? Basically? When Mama sent me off to camp! I’ve been fighting with this mad woman for years trying to hold my own line? As she tried to drag me and I do mean drag, off the course of my own true north that my own true mama wove into my body. My identity has taken hit after hit after hit from this woman who’s tried to tear down what God and Mama built in me. I thank God My genetic are this strong or I would be lost today, drooling in some psych ward somewhere living on meds and being abused by some orderly!
But. It never went there. Because I fought tooth and nail with that. Moved away to raise my children as best I could, more like my Mama before she gave me away. Because remember, she trained be post trauma. So I got her before she was wounded. Which was good. And so I held onto that Innocent essence of a 25 year old woman who was just about to get a brain hit? And did not even know it was coming.
Basically. I cocooned myself in Linda Energy. This woman renamed me, after my own Mama oblivious of her name. Spoke that name over me Day after day. Cloaked in my Mama energies. And she? Is one badass bitch. I’ll say that. Mama Jean fucked herself treating me like she did. This report is just to confirm to my own Mama, that her intuitive hits while I was away were, spot on. That what she feared did happen. And that I owe a debt of gratitude for her training in 9 months that was my only saving grace. God helped me yes. But Mama trained me. And God uses that training to guide me through the battles.
People? You don’t wanna fuck with what my Mama put into me? She does not like it at all. And I’m a Be Linda. So. I be the closer here. As I grew up? And had to endure this woman’s delusional ideas of who I really was? Linda help me. That same kinda I came from rose up in me and fought the mental battles this woman tried to lay on me.
Disrespect is an understatement. And yet? I maintained. Trusting god would make me a way where there was no way, back or forward to Mama again. She got a lesson from Karma basically. Don’t fuck with Linda’s. Just don’t even.
And I’ve had to be patient. I’ve had to pray myself through. As Linda in me fought the fight and gave me strength. When the shit went down. I’d leave the house and go walk in nature and tell Mama all about it. And there in the silence, she would comfort me.
and right now? My Daddy’s dealing with this shit show! Huey style.
Thanks you Dad for your father energy.