I did not enjoy growing up, where my own Mama was scrutinized constantly? How? Well? When you even mention your adopted. People want to make the statement pretty soon after you’ve told them, that’s of course the adoptive Mama is first now. Which is a comparison and a judgement.
Please don’t judge me for relaying the messages of what was poured into me? As I dump it all out before my own Mama to get to the love that all that covered to give to her? And don’t judge my Mama for also being filled with judgements and comparisons herself.
The mother is those that showed up. Whether they left. Whether you missed the first one who made you. At some point? They both showed up. Because Mama gave me the body I love in. I love her. No matter what she acts like and how I interpret it? I am showing her our truth together. That we both got some things thrown into our baskets of life? Because the baby was gone? People just threw things and opinions and ideas? Into Mamas basket about me and tried to define her. And into mine to try to define me. But opinions and judgements do not define us.
And being the thrifty woman we are? We are not going to pay for that anymore. And we are both throwing those ideas and judgements out of our baskets. Because I graphed the word into my soul. I knew I would be able to talk a language Mama does understand. To guide us back together.
Because it’s the right thing to do.
Because I am her daughter and love her so.
Because I have always loved her.
Because I love my family very much.
Because I am a loyal person and true blue to the core.
Because I know the price I’ve paid to even approach my own Mama?
Because of my life. God granted me access and guided me. Because my Mama prayed for me. Because god always answers prayers. Always.
Because I know I came to love her for as long as I am alive. Because I want my family United. Because that’s what god’s words instructs us to do because we love God. Because I am a gift. Because my Mamas a gift. Because my sisters and brothers are gifts.
And I hate waiting to open stuff! And yet I have. Because. I want ya back together right and not left. Xoxo