Warm and fuzzy. Two word associates with comfort. Two words not associated with Adoption at all. Two words that have been used to associate Adoption with comfort.
Hell no. No. No. No. no. Stop the damn train here. Say what you say? Oh nnnnnnnnno! Nono. I mean so no ok it makes me shudder.
Yeah. No!!!!! I mean no. Comfort is not a feeling that goes hand in hand like two lovers down the lane, with Adoption. She’s the tramp who is no lady and gave my Mama a bad name.
Twisted bullshit show is what it is. Causes trauma and continues to cause trauma until recognized for the decisive force it is behind that comfort mask? Adoption and temperpedic, sleep number, down comforter, no. Do not mix no even vibrate the same. The video about language, masking vibrations? Right here’s a good example of masking something so hurtful with a mask of comfort! Hitler was a boy next to Adoptions child play. More like Batam death march to force anyone into a world with Mama and without her.
So deep and so dark with smiles painted on our faces you idiots. Mothers told there children would advance? Naively lead to the Slaughter. We sold to the traveling salesman, and turned into circus clowns for strangers entertainment and not our own. We dance to and for the highest bidder for the chance to be our parents. Ugh.
My Mama was exploited. Yep. In a very tender state I’ll say it again because it’s true. She suffered after giving me away. Yes. She did. Alone I might add. Who could she talk to about this? No one until me. My sisters have a whole in their sight the size of me and can’t believe it’s me? Blocking their view of Mama to point out a few very important things to them about Mama in me?
I’m like a moorage or something? Like a ship at sea or something to them? Floating around. Just out there? Which is where I’ve been with them my whole life? Out there. And now I am here writing to them and Mama and you and changing our script. I’m not floating anymore. I’m real and concrete. Which has changed the whole dynamic of the family. And like I’ve said before, they just grew up without the fourth sister around and are now waking up?
Mama gave that to them. She tried to hide me from them. But I’m there if they look. All the weird actions linked to me. That should bring some comfort to them now? To know it was me and not guess?
I wonder? How Mama has felt having to listen to any of them say I am full of shit and have no reason to be upset?
Wonder if hearing and seeing folks act like that? Has brought her comfort with her own loss of a child that my family has no even paid attention to? To busy making fun of me? Hmmmm?
Well? That would not make me want to open up? No. Surrounded by selfish children more concerned with themselves and their positions in the family than their own Mama? I wonder if anyone’s asked her if she’s ok? And not had an agenda?
Yeah? I wonder? Warm and fuzzy? Not words if use to describe Adoption. No.