I don’t like being excluded.
Especially by those who I am related too.
I don’t like being ignored.
If you haven’t gotten my messages yet?
It triggers all my Mama issue. K?
Try being sent to a party all alone two days after your born? With just your birthday suit on? Surprise!!
Oh. I was surprised! But not elated. More like deflated.
Like a helium balloon that you hold the ends tight and just let the air out and it makes that sound. A squealing sound that wind makes on it way out of a party ballon. Yeah. That was me.
Placed neatly in my new place and not really, completely on board? Like where am I? Where is Mama? Who the hell are you?
Stop breathing in my face. Please. I’m trying to smell for a Mama and your hot breath is really annoying me. I’m sniffing for Mama.
Places neatly into my crib like all dolls get placed. Feeling angry that I could not talk right and did not get through to Mama with my crying? Bewildered.
Triggered as any child would be after loosing all I ever knew.
Exclusion kind of brings it all up for me. Like
Vomit or a fart that’s not a fart. Oops! Excuse me.
If you have figured it out? I have a hair pin trigger. Touchy thing. Yes. Watch it. I do go off if excluded or even a hint of exclusion is felt.
Yeah. Relinquishments little gift to me. Such a fun gift indeed. I try to use it for some good as I still struggle to control it.
My triggers have a mind of their own. As you have fully read and seen me in full bloom explosions.
People want to know what it like.
Well there. Now ya know.