Oh Mama. I’ve been looking for help my whole life.
People have taken me here and there. And there and here. Up and down. Round and round.
No help found. That’s why I came home to you. Because I knew what help I needed. They were all wrong and did not have a clue.
That what I needed was you. I don’t need a clean fancy house, filled with this and that.
I don’t need a bank account filled with money that can buy me escape. Just you.
I don’t need makeup and hair tonics. Just you.
I don’t need a counselor. Just you.
I think I’ve been quite clear and yet no one seems to understand that a woman can still need and want her own Mama?
Adoption did not write that out of my fibers Mama. No.
Oh sure attentions so nice but it’s not the thing I need? Except if it’s from my own Mama.
Surely you’ll find time for me? Surely? You can now see what really matters in the life of this daughter? Is just plain old you.
I get it. I get it. I’m not like the others that is true. I could see you just could wrap your mind around the fact that Adoption could change me?
Adoption did. But my hearts still the same.
Holding onto you was not easy. No. Took a lot of strength.
So when I am excluded? After being loyal my whole life?
I get triggered. And all the reason why and what and how just come pouring out.
And I held back from showing you. Because I kind of knew you were kind of preoccupied with life and being so grand.
That my trigger would change it all. So I gave you time. Time to be as you thought you were with my sisters and family to get it allllll out of your system.
I feel I was quite generous? 20 + years? In reunion? And all of it just slid away. And my trigger finger was itching to shoot down all that had been so that our truth could finally live.
Maybe you liked this idea? I don’t know? But I did not enjoy living life without you. I could give a rats ass who you think you were or are to me? Throw that away please!
Just throw it away Mama. Focus on me. And my love I bring to your table. Focus on that for once woman.
One of my favorite songs to sing I sang to you. My testimony.
Love can build a bridge. Between your heart and mine. Love can build a bridge. Don’t you think it’s time? Yeah don’t you think it’s time?
We can do anything. If we keep believing in the power!
Mama. Believe. It’s time for you and me.
now shhhh. And listen to our song Mama. You remember. Sing it with me. It’s my tribute to you.
it’s all began with you and me.
Love is the power that brought me back to your hearts door Mama.
You know you’re my back up singer. Xox