Mama knows who I need

My Mama knows who I need. And in her silent blocking, she’s been talking to not just me. She’s been talking to us four. The daughters right now. But she also knows she is teaching the sons as well. And guys. By and through God’s Grace, I gave the wheel to Jesus, who in turn gave me Mamas wheel, and gave Mama my wheel. A holy hell fire, Trinity was enacted when I came home.

You wanna talk about a miraculous connection? Be not mistaken, that, I’ve been working with Mama and God all along. She did give me permission to approach her thrown. But she wanted me to focus my thrust on her because she was the root of us all. Instinctively we connected. Might have shocked us both a little when the explosion happened and time was the essence for change and growth of our cell. Mama chose to take the hit because she aches for it. Like a corn in her teeth and a rock in her roots denying her full reach around her earth, (us), her holy field.

Let me ask you this? You didn’t know, really how prayer worked did ya? Didn’t really believe now did ya all? Til now? Go on. Ask her. She’s been praying like crazy. For us to wake up to her ultimate teaching and lesson as our own Mama? She may have. Thrown me away. Let me ask you? We all know Mama. Do you think she forgot where she threw me now? Do ya? Think she forgot? Where the hell I was in her life? Lol. Well I know the answer. Plain to see.

She knows everything about everything in her life. Go. Ask her about the hand carved cat in the house? She will take you right to it and tell you it’s story? Oh lol. Mama, through Jesus and giving her life to God after me, earned her way through grace and forgiveness for the things she had done, learning about the love of me.

Who do you think would ruffle through my mental and emotional file box like a hatchet? And blast it onto this page? She would not let me hide one more second! She outed ya both through prayers. Oh. Chelsie? Remember when Angela needed ya and how you got ahold of Angela’s commander in England? Yeah. Just like your Grandma. Except Mama prayed higher. She wanted our connection to be clear and clean. Her prayers have been bleaching she and me. To hell with grammar it spoils this crazy story.

When Mama gets access into your mind and starts messing and learning about your crazy life without her? At least for me guys. I’m sure you all remember. Her all up in your frills and grills messin. Did you all think she was gonna just let me keep lying about loving her? Like she did not matter? Oh please. That is my Mama too there? She went to working in the region of the mind through prayer. 4 or five bible studies girls? That woman’s connected.

She played us all through me. What? Was I supposed to tell God no she could t come in now and try to hide? No. She was already in me. And she knew it all along and just kept praying and praying and calling and calling on God and ripped at his/her ear. She talked to Huey and Phil and gran gran and Gramma Roush. All point bulletin. You trying to tell me Mama ain’t like that now are ya? Lmao now.

Listen. I submitted. Obeyed. I think it really hit her she was getting through when she spoke to me and I shut my mouth and listened to what she had to say? Shocked the hell out of her? And good. I think she had asked God, that when she spoke I would shut up and listen. And God answered. I did. I don’t agree with her? But I shit up and listened and then responded. Lol.

It was like she saw we’d never kind of left each other and that I’d always been listening? I was answering her prayers right before her cuz she just wasn’t seeing, she needed to hear it from my mouth like doubting Thomas her body needed recognition and explanation from outside of her. And she knew it would mean full disclosure. And she went there. Did not stop me. She was inside me pointing at this and that. And clean this mess up. Oh god get the bleach that’s nasty! I rebuke that in Jesus!

Make no mistake my Mama’s a vilified prayer warrior and prayed the hell out of us all! Tell her prayer don’t work? Faithless. Better recognize. Mama power is strong. Thing I can’t pray my way to the top of God’s ladder for my babies? Oh yeah. She was lit! And you all know what that looks like? Mama may block, but it don’t mean she ain’t thinking about what to do better. And her daughter just let her use the hell out of her. Through God.

Miracles don’t happen if we lack trust. Now she really knows how much we both trusted God through the fire.

Mama found while I let her rummage around inside my mind as I laid it all down on the table for her examination. That there were so many tiny stitches of love all around. And as she examined the threads under her prayer microscope? She found the thread to spun gold of the highest caliber. And then she magnified it more and found the DNA strand. And she compared it to her own DNA strand? It’s it was the same. But yet had a few changes to it. So she magnified it note and found another strand in it of spun gold, rose gold of the highest caliber. What is this she shouted? Questioned? What is this strand? And where did this come from? She prayed and commanded the answered to come from the ethers and her daughter took to typing.

Then she magnified again? A DNA strand too? How is this? And it kept going on and on? She identified stands and stitches of changes. And at some point it just all slipped together and she got it, the big picture about love. Magnified by another’s stitches of love into her DNA strand. Just because Mama wasn’t there? Mama Jean stitched for her and marked the spots that needed her care. Because it was Mamas job and she knew it and was ready to stitch and repair the tears in my mind through prayer.

Thank you Mama for praying. And tearing me apart and putting me back together. Through prayer. I’ve truly enjoyed this lesson most of all. I am glad I surrendered and listened. 💋

if for just one thing. To finally give my feelings wings to fly away, so that joy can come to my morning ahead. One person can paint a mural, a future, but it takes everyone to pick up a brush and make it happen and my family either sees what I am outlining? And goes a picks up a brush or? No new mural?

If society painted over me and my family for that matter? Then surely? We can do way better with all our gifts then just stay the same and think like losers.


I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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