Why would my Mama worry about Mama Jeans feelings?

Why? Anyone?

I’ll tell you why. Because my Mama is a good and kind person. And she thinks I am a horse ass for calling out her imposter? Hello?

Mama, does not want to take anything she feels is not hers? That’s how naive she has been. How sheltered she has been about what being an orphan is.

She actually believe Mama Jean is like her. And that. Is where she’s way off. And my sister Victoria knows it.

I just got divorced. Sold the house. My sister Victoria saw that house. Gone. Poof. Moved with three people helping me. Including myself. Sick. As a dog. Worn out.

Moved into a garage with boxes and puppies. I’m the only one really cleaning this house. And in my darkest hour. Due to my Mamas lovely misunderstanding of the facts. Which my big sister has not backed me up energetically she knows about Mama Jean. Yeah. She felt it. And she didn’t give a shit Mama?

  • And. While trying to figure out what just happened and what God was teaching me? Living in a damn garage?!! Mama precious gift? Mama?
  • This woman has told me over and over to leave when I’ve talked about you!! Your my Mama! I’ve not talked about you for years with her? Talk about showing her hand! It’s was not grand having to see and hear that! And you seem not much better? How is this helpful? How is god glorified? Hmm? How? Tell me. Show me?
  • She told me I was welcomed. Hell she left me stupid. She like me needing her can’t you see? I just wanted you to. See. Cuz I’ll rise again. I don’t need your ass. Obviously. But I wanted you.
  • Look at where you’ve sent me. And I’ve have done nothing to deserve this treatment. I cook and clean and have done everything and felt like a damn slave. And I’ve been hungry. And have missed you all along. You.
  • Yeah. Look at it. People tell themselves the dumbest things. She ain’t you hell know. Neither is Victoria. Leaving me like this. But I love her. She’s my sister. This is a tale. Your the fairytale.
  • Wake up? She’s told David to leave? In my darkest hour!!! I called to you. What the hell is so important? What?! You never made me a dress. Neither did she. You never were my brownie leader. Neither was she? I never got to do that stuff she had no patients at all with me!
  • I’ve kind of been the parent. I hate to say that. I hate it. You gonna say I could even lie about that? Go on. Be like everyone else I tried to tell on her. No one listened. Not even you!
  • Better my ass. Lazy for lack of me. I’m just a pawn in this game. Neither of my Mamas give a shit about me. Just their damn reputations. Wtf.
  • Sister? Yeah. I have my. Where are they when I need them? Oh. Have I asked so much of your high faluten asses? No. I gave. Whatever. What a bullshit show at the end of Adoption. When the paints all worn off and you show through. Linda’s daughter practically being thrown out on her ear? After taking this woman in and nursing her ass back to health due from being a raging alcoholic! Your only grace is to take me back girl.
  • That’s. Is plain to see. Like way off. She ain’t you. Stop. She could care less about you Mama. Get it through that pretty head of yours. Any favors done were me doing to myself and learning all I could. Cuz she never taught me nothing but manipulation and bullshit.
  • I’ve been neglected. As long as I was quiet. All was good. And make sure I dressed right and showed myself off as the best daughter in public. Like a clown I felt. While loving you so much. I did it. For you! Yeah.
  • To god be the glory. I did right. For your ass and bad reputations. I took it to prove a point and you can’t even show up and prove her wrong. She said you’d never show up. And she smiled as she stabbed the knife. Is that who you wanted to raise me Mama? Is that your tale?
  • Cuz this is the truth. And there’s way more. I’m just tired and just want to go home. Go on. Let Victoria call me a manipulator. She met Mama Jean. Every person looked at me like I was crazy talking her in? Her energy was so toxic. Yet I loved her for you and God. But she don’t love me? She better to the dog?
  • I’ve been hungry. Yes. Listen. My kids are so numb to it? It’s abuse? My kids are like you. But patterns of abuse continue for lack of shock factor to wake folks up? This ain’t right?
  • Yes. I will get my own place and move on. But you left me in this and I called to YOU ALL FOR HELP! And you turned a deaf ear! Everyone just left me. So that’s on you all. Not me.
  • never. In my wildest dreams did I believe my own Mama wouldn’t believe me! Ever!

    The money from the house? Which wasn’t much so I took a loss? To leave that loser! Who walked away from me when I needed him most. So I get ya. About Dad. He was a mess. Player. I get it. He changed though. Karen got him set right. She’s a good woman Mama.

    I put all the money from the house into Mama Jeans account and she let me! I bought a few things and paid for some trips and gas and the rest went to her. She gave me money to be with that dick head. She thought she knew who I needed? What a mess. And I let her. To prove a point. I trusted and this is what I get? I cared for him? Like? Was so good to him? And his family? Felt like a slave to them too.

    Hell they didn’t care about me either. This woman treated me like a mistake. Always trying to fix me and make me into her. I don’t want to be like her. She uses me.

    And yes. I’m trying this from her parents garage. And I don’t care anymore. You’re gonna know the truth Mama. No turning away. I didn’t get too.

    and Chelsie Lynn Gayheart. I love you. More than you’ll ever know because of my Mama. Look at this mess baby girl. Just look at remember. I showed up and stayed showing up. For love sake. For my Mama to see me get it right for god sakes.

    Here I am a preacher. You’d think Mama would be proud? Where the hell is Mama?

    My home. Get a good look Mama. Victoria. Is your place look like this? Does your Mama or sister do you like this? Hmm?


    I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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