Awe,Mama….

Awe, Mama. I know you didn’t mean it, and wished you could take it back. And I understand as well as I can understand, you lost your mind for a minute… I know you didn’t mean to hurt me and just wanted it to be all better. I forgive you Mama. You were only 25, and Chelsie Lynn didn’t really do much better at saying goodbye to me than you did. I forgive you both, please forgive me…

We all make decisions that we hate. And I came home to set it right for ya. And to tell you I love you and to show you how much Mama. I know you were not yourself Mamas at that time in your life, not the you you wanted to be. I see. 

I also see your over compensations, as I looked around your house. Showing me you had changed and wanted me to find you and be proud of who you grew into. And I am… Now, don’t cry Mama. I know, walking through hell is no picnic. But I came home to escort you through hells fire. And bring you to the other side awake. And healed. 

Takes a while to rewrite the story and lay the old one to rest. And get your Mama to see… How God answered her prayers back in 63. Awe Mama, you can never hide from me, Ive been knowing you forever… I know who’s in there. You can’t fool me.

Papa Gerald came to me in a dream and he told me to tell you, he’s sorry, that he hurt you. He did not realize how bad until he got to the other side and began to learn his lessons, that he’s guided me through, for you. To repay you for all he had done that caused you to give me away. He said, “I was wrong, about you, pumpkin” “I was wrong a bout Huey.” “And sorry ain’t enough for what I put on you darling”, 

“But I’ve worked with your baby to help bring you through. And sent her the intel, I learned after my body expired, so that she could tell you, how much I love you and how proud of you I am”, “I apologize for not telling you”.” This little girl is Papa approved. Sent back two you from me. Forgive me.” “I knew not what I did.” “How could I have been so cold and unfeeling to hurt you?” “Please forgive me. I love you. And yes Mama’s with me, she doing quite well.”” NOW, please don’t worry darling, I met her at death and walked her to glory.” And we all met Phil when his time came, don’t worry, we will meet you when its your time, and its not now.” 

“Cuz Daddy’s sent a gift back to his child, with a note, that reads, please forgive me for the detour, but I got it after all and made it right pumpkin, my darling.” “Daddy loves you so, and yes so does Mama, she kisses you each night as always when she flies to your room and tucks you in, under the light of the moon”. Please receive this gift from Daddy, and enjoy her, she’s lovely, and true blue.” Thank you Papa. 

Mama, I do hear from them. I just stuffed it and tried to not use my gift. But Gran Gran insisted, cuz Jesus is her friend. She would not lead me astray, nor would Jesus. And I have always had a special connection with heaven Mama. How do you think I made it? Papa does love you, and believe it is him speaking. I really don’t like giving messages to doubters. 

Ive seen the way you look at me Mama. You melt and go weak at your knees. And, thats ok. You can touch me, I won’t push you away. You’ve always had a place within me, and now without me, on the outside of me for real. There is no need for fear, Mama. Ive come home to you. And new things don’t make sense. And Papa wanted to surprise you, and help you clean up the act… He caused you to make. please forgive him, he takes all the blame if there must be any. For guiding you to do such a thing, over and over. 

He didn’t know what he did back then to my Mama. And wanted you to have back your own daughter, and to be stronger than ever for knowing, that he helped train me to help you get over it. 

We will never be the same, and that is grand. For we all got a touch from Gods hand. As God stitched us all back together, stronger than ever. God always makes it right when we have gone left. Just believe that you are that worthy. Please. Lay the swords down, no war is coming, just love, and your daughter to love on her Mama…

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psychecafe

I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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