What is an informed decision?

What is an informed decision?

Well? Let’s see.

in·formed
/inˈfôrmd/
adjective
  1. having or showing knowledge of a particular subject or situation.
  2. “an informed readership”
  3. synonyms: knowledgeable, enlightened, illuminated, literate, well informed, well educated, educated, schooled, instructed; More

    • (of a decision or judgment) based on an understanding of the facts of the situation.
    • “twenty-six young adults participated after giving informed consent
de·ci·sion
/dəˈsiZHən/
noun
  1. a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration.
  2. “I’ll make the decision on my own”
  3. synonyms: resolution, conclusion, settlement, commitment, resolve, determination; More

    • the action or process of deciding something or of resolving a question.
    • “the information was used as the basis for decision”
    • a formal judgment.
    • “last year’s Supreme Court decision”

My 25 year old Mama, did not make completely informed decision back in 1963. What was she informed about?

  • Separation anxiety?
  • Postpartum depression?
  • Nitemares?
  • Unidentifiable mood swings?
  • Manic episode?
  • Mood flips. Like a switch.
  • Feeling triggered and not knowing the reason was not just the situation in front of me? It was connected to a deport root trigger.
  • Crying alone.
  • Feeling blessed and yet alone and empty.
  • Panic attacks
  • OCD
  • Over thinking
  • Over everything. Like being on high alert all day and yet blind as a bat.
  • Feeling the high alert at night. Awake. 4 am. Panic and no reason why.
  • Longing and yet denying that longing.
  • Feeling pulled in a directions you’ve told yourself so long that is still there.
  • Shame. Anger. Frustration. Which way?
  • Going along with the status quo? Cus you can’t see a better one?
  • This is my lot.
  • Cut off at my own hand.
  • Feeling ashamed and h worthy. Of her gift?

.

Now realizing how informed I was not. I was not informed. Neither was anyone else, really, at what the affect would be. Because Adoption did know what they were doing to us kids and our Mamas, both. Rearranging us? Yet our hearts always linked. Torn and bleeding as we give as our Mamas instructed us after Adoptions leading.

And then to have your own daughter come home. And to find you both so rearranged it’s hard to recognize yourself in her, because your minds so dusty about the girl that made that beautiful creature standing before you to see she is you! Preserved. And timeless. Adapted. Yet connected baby. That’s how I roll. Mama.

Here. Read this.

Psalm 1

Blessed is the one<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13941A" data-link="(A)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>
    who does not walk<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13941B" data-link="(
B)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”> in step with the wicked<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13941C" data-link="(C)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>
or stand in the way<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13941D" data-link="(
D)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”> that sinners take<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13941E" data-link="(E)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>
    or sit<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13941F" data-link="(
F)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”> in the company of mockers,<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13941G" data-link="(G)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>
but whose delight<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13942H" data-link="(
H)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”> is in the law of the Lord,<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13942I" data-link="(I)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>
    and who meditates<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13942J" data-link="(
J)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”> on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13943K" data-link="(
K)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”> planted by streams<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13943L" data-link="(L)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>of water,<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13943M" data-link="(M)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>
    which yields its fruit<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13943N" data-link="(
N)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”> in season
and whose leaf<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13943O" data-link="(
O)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”> does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-13943P" data-link="(
P)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top”>

This is where adoption lead me and Mama. Cuz our bond is tight!

All of us felt this way. I’m owning my third. I won’t hide anymore.

  • But this. Is not where we are staying. Why? Cuz Mamas informed now. Now she can choose again. We all can? I’ve chosen my Mamas wholly into my life. No going back or walking away from either of them. They can walk away from me. They have that choice. But really? Is it a choice? Why would any Mama choose to walk away from a child that chose to come back? Seems an odd choice and yet I feel Mama is thinking it is a viable choice? Why would she visibly block me?

There are things I would like information about too. My Mama has her answers now. And is informed about my side of the adoption experience now.

I really feel like my Mama has felt she was saying goodbye to her past by saying goodbye to me? Many do this. And that where all the psycho babble comes in handy. That’s where I learned to separate actions and the people. We love people. We dislike or misunderstand the actions. Most actions we understand we like. Adoption is shrouded in darkness and ignorance of the true affects on the children. Adoption is maneuvering undetected and is unregulated and due for major updates and changes. We the adopted who know the affects we deal with know these changes must come. Each person that is advocating has had their own struggles to be able to even do so. To articulate our side, piecing our experiences from data stored in memories and triggers that show us what needs to be changed. We are not comfortable. And won’t be until we make this change. And the change is in the minds that do not understand what Adoption really means and to explain that is just a word that covers something every hurtful and depressing to the children involved who are the future.

If we have been distressed? What’s the opposite of that? Stressed? Bingo. This. Is. A. Stress point. That needs to be stopped and our minds need to look at it from a more complete vantage point to see the way forward by doing better for us all. Distressed is twice as stressed as you all feel when you read about my stress and my adoptee families stresses. You are getting stressed. Or aware of stress? About our distress?

Like suck it up! We took the twice. You should be grateful!! There are trillions of us!! Moses a trillion times? Why? So listen you wanders! To us. Fragmentation leads to what? Confusion?

Yeah. I’m fucking with your mind? Damn right. I’m a Mess Ender. Messenger.

Mal 3

You’ve been confused. Now I’m showing you fusion. With no con. Fusing our minds into the knowing that our minds are always one.

We can change the story line on earth. And can have fun doing it. Many are addicted to rage. Rage shows a need for education and practice. Guns can’t make a relationship healthy? Our relationship with our laces won’t get better for a guns presence.

Guns show fear. Fear and ignorances are friends. Education turns ignorance into an alley. An equal. If our intention is true our Equal is filled with love and respect and there is no need for fear. And fear will bow. And exit. Because. We learned the lesson.

It says fear not. We need to practice that. And learn about our neighbors? This place is magical. So magic not bad? Why did we say it was? Magic is what we don’t understand yet? Magic is what sciences works to understand?

Listen. This blogs not some fresh shaved leg of writing. These legs are hairy. Keep up. Our minds are expanding guys. So these ideas just have to be changed per the new status quo.

The planets whole story lines changing. We are coming into balanced mindset. And I am seeing this in the future and the signs of it today. And it’s evolution. As we learn our lessons and wake up? There is no need for anyone to be asleep and not have their best life? We can create better than what we see going on today. We. Key.

And I am being the change I want to see in this world by changing me and my Mamas situation to a balanced better way for us all. Shaded by truth. Covered in forgiveness and grace. Protected. Under God we trust. Standing as the umbrella of this family unite I show everyone how to do that for theirs and then we all will be shaded. We all have shadows. Let’s remember the sun shines.

My Mama knows my shadow and hers now. The monsters in her closet were just her coats. From days gone by. Shoes well worn, looking like someone you left behind. Linda? Linda? Hello? Please let me out? Please. I’m your best friend and you know it. That girls amazing! And we made that!

She is a crowd pleasure. We own it. Every ingredient counts. We throw our shit onto the garden Mama. No more holding it in. No need.

Hold that head high. Stop tripping pretty Mama. I got you. We right tonight. I’m holding you right. Not to tight.

Ain’t nothing holding us down sep this crown. Let it go. You always know. You my baby. So don’t trip. We bonded from your hips.

Please understand this blog is a stream of the consciousness coming from a person separated from their Mother early in life. My mental process is evolved and forward in thinking. I do challenge the status quo. Mine was.

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