At least my Mama has not changed her number again. I am thankful for that. Her message box is full. And it makes me wonder if she’s listened to my messages at all? I wonder? Wow? My family does not talk at all? I am grateful I am able to articulate. And that I’ve educated myself about my situation so I can navigate these very dark situations we’re lack of communication from one side inhibits the flow?
And at this time of hunger for more. I’m stopping to be grateful for a phone number to call and talk into that belongs to my own Mama. Might not be all that you have? But it’s more than I did have?
And I’m grateful for a big sister who hisses the collective energies to me so well. Hell she don’t know what to do either? It’s is crazy changing and rearranging. My family is just now walking up to the tsunami? If Mama threw me away, meaning sent me like a wave in another direction? Then the wave would come back with equal and opposite force no doubt?
But Mamas not getting quite like she sent it? Or how she imagined our reunion to be because we had a big clean up that was needed and evidently only I could see? My family I am grateful for. Yes. And grateful people work for free for what they value. And as much as I’d love to stroke all the Egos in the room and dance all day for everyone as a supposed model Adoptee, per last decades standards? No. I’m gonna show you the new Model. Adoptee of the future.
Say hello to the New Annie the orphan. I am the 60’s model. We’ve upgraded a few things in this model. The Linda Model. This model seems to have the capacity to speak freely. This model knows her rights as a human being. Those 60’s models are exquisitely Taylor made for these times of change. This model being born of a lie has a radar system like know other that overrides the brain and instinctively draws to the lie like a moth to a flame to shed light upon it.
Like a lie detector. And a lie revealer. What is the truth? For one? Love is real. Anything that’s not lining up with love is inhibited by a lie. What’s the lie? That’s the lesson. Find the lie and find the truth. I am grateful.
This is all I’ve earned here. An answering machine of my Mamas that I can talk into and an Adoptive Mama yelling at me about the empty egg carton? I don’t even eat eggs? And I don’t take them from that damn carton either? Ugh.
I hope Mama enjoyed her life without me? Egg cartons and all.
I need to get this woman to calm down about her eggs and my son? Ugh. I’m grateful.