My Mama! Wow! Talk about Ferrell! Talk about codependent. Talk about deceived, taken advantage of, wounded, feeling all kinds of feelings, so many she runs from them. That’s what I see and feel as her daughter observing and checking in with God each day! As I pray. For her and I. And as I stand in the gap for her during this time of metamorphosis.
Feels like she’s been running forever. And there always comes a time when you got to go home and rest. She’s just green extremely spooked by this ghost child from her past who’s not a walking dead woman but alive and well. That’s gonna take a minute to rearrange your thinking about? She lived as though I was dead my whole life! Yet always felt the tug of my spirit.
I’m knocking always on her hearts door and she knows that. She just had to hide that. It’s like being in a crouched position so long that you struggle to stand up. Mamas had a lot thrown on her and put in her and poured into and into her idea of herself. Much of which this little lady is peeling off. Kind of like exfoliating. Layers and layers of masks of the dead skin of a woman now gone. She not a mourning biological Mama anymore. She a Mama.
And we’ve still got time to spend together. And she’s feeling a bit lighter these days. Cuz I cared enough to rip the script she read from, line by line from her mind. Burned the place it was and rerouted all the pathways of the lie back to the truth. Like the daughter of a Virgo would. Meticulously. Painstakingly. Precisely. Lovingly. Firmly. Like a surgeon.
And I know Mamas tired of it. And that’s why I am the Mess Ender. I’ve loved her my whole life. End of story.