How to do inner child work.
Step one. You’ll need your inner mother for this one. Yep. You read that right. Inner Mother. No one talks about the inner Mother or Father for that matter? But most have their Mother and Fathers to see, and so they don’t realize they are their.
My mother and father were removed. But within me I found them. What’s that mean? I’ll explain. It’s like wwjd except wwmd and wedd. What would mom do and what would dad do? That’s the dialogue that began inside me to cope. And what my parents within me wanted and what the parents I was given to did not always match. My Mom and Dad GPS was way different than my A parents GPS.
And I felt the difference. Yes. I did. Very keenly I felt the difference in the way they raised me. But I kept an eye on where I came from and what felt natural to me was not natural to them. And I guess I just made a decision to follow inner Mama and Daddy most times. But there were times that I had to do what they did not want me to do. Yes.
My Mother is very meticulous. And my father is a whiz at chaos. And change. Put them together and get a meticulous changeling. Me.
If I had gone balls to the walls about my parents and family back then would anyone have listened? No. Because I tried. Is anyone listening now? Well? A few.
I am one person. But what I am talking about affects many Adoptees. We just haven’t had words to explain it. Now we do. And we also have research to back us up. And human rights law. Back us as well. But what do we do with this? We just need to take back what is ours on a grand scale. That’s gonna take bodies and people fed up enough to show up to make this statement of solidarity. We all should have what’s ours by birth right. And no one gets to change that birth right.
And what have I gained? Some heritage? Is it mine? Is it? Or will my A Mom pull it away from me? Who knows? My Mama pulled herself from me? What’s to say the new one won’t? Who knows. What is consistent? In an Adoptees life? Pain. Pain is consistent. A pain of knowing you’re off course and that your Mama is off course and brainwashed to think it’s Gods will? When the Bible doesn’t state that at all?
Hell I was brainwashed too for that matter. And as a good adoptee went along for years? What was I supposed to do? For a long time I lamented. Resigned to my fate beyond Mamas perimeter. But then it hit me? I could go home all the way. But it would take telling Mama the truth. That was always in my back pocket. But I had to be passed all the worry of rejection to even do that feet.
I had to be willing to loose it all to get her back on track with me. It was a gamble. And it’s the only road I saw? It takes time to work a plan like that out, and God to lead you. For sure.
There comes a time when you must unlearn what you dont need. And I don’t need Adoption rules and regs anymore thank you. I think I can and am handling this way better. My Mama is learning what she didn’t when she gave me away. And I’m learning what I didn’t learn when she walked away.
I’ve learned from myself. There is no taking back your love for your Mama. Nope. No taking that back and no giving it to someone else. And Mamas learning what real love is. Now that I am home.