My pile of papers wasn’t that big.


  • God wouldn’t let me get all juiced up all day about it. For me, the information as I searched came in spurts that I could get used to going slow. My Mama would take a while. And so would I. Stitching something so delicate, back together I imagine for God who sent me to Mama first. And then Mama sent me to Mama Jean. And never accepted what God had sent to her?
  • Sometimes God let’s me sit in his seat and feel how The universe feels when a gift is not accepted. And if and I mean if. Cuz we don’t accept everything as a gift.
  • I accept adoption as a gift. And I also accept my reunion with Mama. Always have accepted her. She’s not real social. Not with me at least. And I study my Mama. I’ve lived without her so long. And have felt behind in my mirror work with her. She is fascinating to me. And like most girls who love their Mama. I still look up at her and follow her lead.
  • I’m not real social either. With you. And that sucks for us both Mama. Cuz I truly believe we are very compatible. I think I’m what ya ordered for the old ages days. Some sassy mouthed critter, to parade around and make you laugh. You set me free Mama. Like the bird from your cage. And I flew back with God leading the train? Oh.
  • My Daddy loves you. You can’t deny it. Three. What does that number mean? To you. Three. To me it means? The third born. The trinity. Does this number have meaning to you I ask because I keep seeing threes. Did three have something to do with Huey? Huey says you know what three means.
  • Now see? This is one of the gifts I have that I’ve hidden. Dead folks speaking through me. And to my Mama? Scary as hell. She can keep denying it. Fear get ahold of people folks.

    And I know my Mama loves me and has been longing like these fathers and Mamas for her happy ever after. And my Daddy? Seems to be just speaking to me, to confirm to her he’s helping? And three has meaning to them. Three was like their number?

    Man. Mama must really want confirmation this is the path. I’m not sure why she’s so hung up? But I won’t let her down by getting in God’s way and not delivering these messages.

    Call me crazy. But I’ve spoken many times to many people crazy things like these I said here and dropped them to their knees weeping. Cuz I know it’s not me. It’s God wanting to bless my Mama. With her gift.


    I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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