Great term to illustrate what I’ve been saying about Adoption. Masking what is with something else.
Maybe I am autistic? Maybe Mamas autistic? Or high functioning Aspergers? Makes me wonder? Maybe that’s what I trigger in Mama? Maybe everyone else is used to it?
Maybe I was used to it in myself? And maybe it got uncomfortable? To keep masking the part of me that has always loved my Mama? Maybe it’s uncomfortable to her too? But she’s just been resigned to her fate or some such nonsense? That’s she need me to rip the mask off real fast and hard. So it could heal from lack of exposure. Her face is amazing. Why hide who you really are anymore.
That’s what I am saying? She seems like she’s hurtles in a corner waiting for folks to stone her to death or some such silliness? Why would my own Mama take so long to show up? What in the world was she told that could Hold her like this?
Guilt? Shame? What? She knows how to drive? What is so hard about driving to pick up your daughter who already came three times? I’m just saying? The fact that she’s not come or called me is why I keep talking about this. Like some kind of kelpie dog bearding Mama back on course or some such nonsense?
Reunions don’t need to be this much work you see? As I see it we have clearly left to much to nothing at all, with no guidelines or any common sense wisdom about it? And to block or avoid it is ludacris. Communication is always the medicine that brings balance. But with my own Mama all jacked up and unable to speak or write a letter of some kind of invitation so we can be done at long last with this business? It’s quite the task as I spell it all out for her here in front of the world.
Mama is just Mama. A woman educated by a system and a spiciest that did not have all the facts about the affect if Adoption on all parties involved. And I want to invite you to riffle through these electronic pages and see what society did to my Mama’s, me and my family.
And we had to adapted. And in adapting we got twisted. Together. Cuz Adoption is a bond man makes with another. And my Mama struggles with a vow she made. And the changing of that vow. The morphing is that vow.
Adoption says it a done deal without asking me if I am done. First mistake. This is done when I say it done. I do have a birth right to what is genetically mine. And a Human Right which is the highest law found, to have my family back. And to have them whole heartedly accept me back.
I have a birth right to ask my family to step up and accept me. I have a right to be upset that they were so poorly educated about my plight. It has been quite unfortunate to have to face ignorance in your own family, let alone teach them better in love with a firm hand.
Each one of my family has some weird idea of who I am and what adopted even means to us as a family. I am not the only one who was adopted. A pattern that repeated. Struck our family twice if not more. I’m not going there right now. It’s systemic the separation syndrome.
a group of symptoms which consistently occur together, or a condition characterized by a set of associated symptoms.
“a rare syndrome in which the production of white blood cells is damaged”
a characteristic combination of opinions, emotions, or behavior.
Since my return my family has continued to spin in their old loop of life concept. And I was likened to an interruption to their flow. Not realizing that I was part of their flow all along by genetic assignment. I imagine they don’t know a lot about energy? Each person assigned to a family is never forgotten about. Each person stores the cellular memory in their body’s dna vibration of each soul in the tribe.
That’s what’s happened to me that’s made me different to my family. I’ve stored My Adoptive family in my Dna. We all are intact connected like this but the bond between Genetic family and non genetic family is different. And when we alter a child’s placement we alter not only the child but the whole family and world.
And? We should be getting along about studying the affects because it’s the future that will see the affects of what we do in ignorance. So let’s be mindful of that fact. The future is counting on us all to grow up and learn. I just had to do it early so I could speak about it now and tell what it’s like to have to grow up and put on big girl panties at two days old? Ok!