It’s like being forced to visit the grave of your Mama your whole life while she’s still alive. It’s quite buzzard. Adoption kind of takes perfectly good people and turns them into freaks. Who get freaked out. Adoption does cause a freak out like of phenomenon. Nothing seems normal again. Perpetual skewed perception.
I guess my true desire is to solve for x. If I was to truly, win my own Mamas trust back? And integrate properly back into my tribe?, could that be the key. Can Adoption affects be reversed at all? My Mama seems stuck. Many others report this too. Like I am listening to us all. And looking for all of the solutions.
I mean Adoptions like a train going down the track. Once folks stop fueling it she will stop. Once people realize what I am saying about this dead end. After the frenzy of obtaining a child has come to a halt, cuz we finally realized what we were doing to ourselves and rid ourselves of such ignorance?
Adoption is very similar to war. War separates us from each other. War is ignorance gone wild. People who lack words to speak to bring back peace and equilibrium. That’s we’ve allowed ignorance to just have her way with us is sickening. And lack of words and content are always the issue with a story being good. And humans like to hide shit. So we keep getting in our own way for pride.
I don’t know it all. I’m just a vessel getting out of the planets way and just saying some common sense things that seem to upset people due to lack of common sense being supported these days. Adoption is nonsense. And it’s like this.
Don’t tell me my Mama loved me so she gave me away. Makes no sense. Like what was I unsafe from? Who’s the evil man in power now? This Moses has had it!
Makes me want to take your Mama so you can feel how much it’s doesn’t make sense? If everyone lost their Mama? We’d be past this basic fundamental truth.
That’s what it felt like. I used to have a voting problem. I bit those I liked. So they could feel the pain I felt. My oldest used to not herself. So she got some residual pain too. Who know what Mama did about hers. But I will lay money that the girls got some of hers. My youngest ran away from me think I was her pain. Nope. Residual pain from me. She still feels it.
And the only way to stop it. Heal the Mother unit. She’s the root and where it started. She’s the tree we all came from.
Frustration, anger, and fear are strong emotions and toddlers lack the language skills to communicate how they are feeling.
When I was growing up. No one caught that little behavior. I grew out of it as my feelings just stewed down inside. Unprocessed feelings come back up and must be felt and accepted before they will subside.
Hence the cycle going around and around. mama had done the same thing forever and I am asking her to do something different. Come towards me and see if it helps. Yes. Feelings are there that have been trapped for lack of processing. You will fell a lot of things. And if you let me come help? It’s will all get better.
That’s what I am offering. Honest grieving to process this out. Yes I’ve poked the wounds to show Mama I see them and feel them. She’s used to just pushing them down for no where to go. She can’t hurt me anymore than I was. It’s about getting it out so we can move on.
I’ve spent years studying human nature. Especially mine. I’m no different than anyone else. Except that my Mama gave me away. I still love my Mama like everyone else and want her whole and happy like everyone else.
She’s got a damn good reason to be upset. But no reason now to stay that way.