And this reading confirms it. It is abusive that we can’t even get together for tea? And Chelsie knew full well I was going here. That’s girl knows me like the back of her hand. And no. She hates this side of me and yet knows it’s right anyway.
Change she said. Change it. Not me. Change my Mamas minds to see you too baby. Standing. Waiting for that great tea party we practiced growing up. I grew up with you. I was treated like a perpetual child. Except with you my adults in training.
I you know how I was treated better than me. Cuz I treated you much the same. So if neglect and all that are among my crimes? I’ve been neglected 56 years by my own Mama? I thought I did way better than that? A strange woman will only show you were Mama went left and if you go there? Well then everyone stuck? Pay attention.
But I didn’t neglect you like my Mama neglected me? Did I? No. I trained you to pay attention to yourselves. And to do better than me and tell me so. I was trainable too as we all grew together. Was it my fault I was neglected? All I learned was from everyone. Not just a woman? Men woman. Dogs cats. Nature. The right kind of nurture. Education. Pay attentions. Look here and there children like me? A grown ass child trying to play your Mother who was taught to Be a mother by a stranger? Pay attention!
Pay attention indeed. To a world that would call me crazy? For keeping my babies instead of being like my own Mama and giving them away? Excuse me. Excuse me for trying to straighten my Mamas ass out! Excuse me for being fed up to here!👆 With any label at all.
And I see it in Chelsie which means it’s in me. Pain that we all can’t get together and drink some simple tea. And move along about it?
Maybe talking around in circles about it will make everyone dizzy and fall down? Maybe we can laugh again then? My life has been crazy. Making nonsense to sense is work. You can’t compare this life to anything else?
You have to use it all to compare any of it to understand any one thing.
Only Adoptees even understand that statement.
Our mothers are our compass. Take the compass? Move the child? Alter the whole things. Which alters ya too. And Fragments us further each time.