The feeling of rejection is intense.

How anyone could imagine that a

Child would feel any other feelings than horror and rejection from being abandoned is absolutely absurd. More absurd is that Bio parents even after years of having time to grow up? Seem to have been stunted by Adoptions solution?

Opting out? Really was only a reroute? The way these people have reacted and acted just shows how ignorant Adoption left them compared to their child? Yeah. We do learn better. And then must go home to face ignorant parents that lost their lessons? And can’t seem to live with what was made from them?

its not about her emotions persay. It’s about the question? What’s better? Better children with half caulked parents? I don’t feel our parents are better without us? My Mama is all jacked up? She didn’t know a thing? About Adoption? Very little? And when I began telling her the truth I thought she was gonna bust a blood Vessel? I’m not sure myself if she’ll make it?

My Daddy must have been a hell of a secret? Wow! My Mama should not feel any shame about falling for him? She wasn’t no slob! Non of our Mamas are? If our Mamas are slobs then we are slobs too?

This woman loves her parents. And she should. We should give a shit that the parents obviously have not processed their own trauma? I hope someone send them this blog

Post? They haven’t grieved. And it’s not that hard to do. But it still needs to be done. And I don’t wanna hear a thing about that free will

Shit. Nothings free here. Energy for energy.

If we wish to clear any hurt away. It is the pain of a half built bridge in the mind of a parent that can’t seem to see the worth of finishing the job that was begun from them? It obliterates my mind? Why? Because what my Mama did in ignorance seared a mark in my mind about it?

She abandoned me. And marked me. She can’t deny me. I’m branded. Adopted, abandoned. What’s a word? Letters all strung together to form Vibrations? Feelings? Marks. People. Punt it all together like a salad. Not in compartments of thought. I get that the story has been like this for woman and children for a while? Yes. I do realize that.

What do we propose to do about it? It’s like some kind of fix it up Chappy? Washing babies and making them new again? From one to the other? Yet some keep theirs? Which means someone behind? Who’s ahead? Orphans or plain old kept kids?

What is Adoption saying really? We suck at being spontaneous? We suck at really taking life serious in that you can’t go back? That adoption just took you for a ride and at the end for said ride? There is no guarantee? Seems counter productive if you ask me? Why was there no insurance here? Extra measure for the whole lump? Well there wasn’t. I’ll just answer.

Ok? Well why haven’t we changed that? Well? We don’t know how? All the babies will be aborted? Ok? How can we get ahead of that? There. What’s the proactive answer? There are a few answers that haven’t been looked at?

But we must begin to consider the best for the child who is the future. My body took a hit. And it was rough as hell. Do I want one more child to have to feel what I felt? Maybe some Adoptees went numb? But there are always canaries. To chirp an alarm. Enough is enough?

Do we really want to play with our futures like this anymore? I feel life should be fun. Why not for everyone? Serious fun. Which means using your brain to make sure everyone wins.

My Mama obviously feels worthless. Calling me crazy? Saying I need help? Only a woman who feels worthless would say such a thing to her love Child? Help for what?, driving to your house? Maybe a body guard? To protect me from my sister?

Yeah know? As I allow myself to freely write, stream of consciousness, I see a message there in my own writing? Mama? You ain’t worthless? Who told you that? Not me. And I’m just a phone call away if anyone calls you crazy Mama. Just want you to know that. That’s why I came up there. To show you I am with you.

Victoria’s our or control. Or at least was that day? David and I went and had a good day around Oregon. Was good to see you. I’m just a call away. You’ve done nothing wrong. Victoria will settle down. So with the girls. All debts wiped clean. Clean slate. Did they think I just meant me? Lol. No. Everyone. This family is wiping the debts clean.

We are on our way. Living a new life with new chances and experiences. Love is at the helm. This woman tells her tale. Yeah. It’s sad. If you don’t like sad stories? Maybe we can make the world a place where everyone can win? Surely? We are not totally stupid?

what is so pathetic on the part of this woman Mother? Is that her daughter now is teaching other people how to cope with this mental illness in their own parents? This woman faced mental illness. She’s not ill? Except from exposure to the true state of her parents minds?

I would say they lost it? And the family protects them. Not from you or her? This woman is not dangerous? Except to the parents hearts that obviously are broken beyond repair. I would say that is an affect that should be tracked. If others are feelings this way and if parents act like this? It’s proof adoption has an affect on the parents nervous systems.

Which is kind of what I’ve witnessed with my own Mama? Those cells we left just laird there with no exercise from the one who made them? Anyone ever think about a child’s role in a parents mental development? Yeah. Children are teachers too. This woman loves her parents and is heart broken to see them in such a state as not to be receptive to unity with their own flesh and blood daughter?

Like that’s a mind fuck right there I am going to call it. And if there just one person mind fucked by this? We should look at changing it. Our parents should not be in such a state as to reject contact from their own flesh and blood? How silly is that and yet not. People are ill prepared for what relinquishment really means? And the affect is lasting on all parties.

I’m writing to stop this Hot potato of an idea. Potatoes are for eating. Not throwing. Neither are children?


I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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