I like my version better

I personally like my version of my Mamas more than they like their version of me.

Because let’s face it. Children see beyond what Mamas see. If Mary has truly seen Jesus for who he truly is? Would she have let him hang on a tree? Like would she have just stood there crying? Or would she have done something like he did?

What held her back?

Programming. She is a woman and let’s face it. We’ve come a long way. But have we really? Because Adoption shines a light on Mothers behaviors to save themselves. And what other option do we have really?

Then question is: what options are we willing to pay for? What are mothers willing to put up with for change? What are Mama willing to do for change?

Woman have been pigeon holed. By what? Programming and narrative. The what if’s haunt Mothers and woman. And we control the what ifs. We have the power to do something totally different.

The fact is our Mamas paid for this. What did they get? Like what is at the end of the day?

Separation. Death and grief. Just like Mary our Mamas stand and stood crying while we were taken away. Tied by society to a narrative that Jesus Mama didn’t even overcome.

And why? She knew to listen to God about Jesus being born? Did she realize he would hang on a tree and that there was nothing she could do about it? Or so she thought? Thoughts are things. Thought are programming. Back when Jesus was born? Woman were like dogs and property. I mean Joseph could have divorced her. Yet Joseph didn’t. Where was he when Jesus died? What did Joseph do about his boy taking the heat?

The church was off base. Jesus confronted that mindset. People were stoning woman and had sin themselves. Jesus confronted that. No one could say a thing. Cuz they all were dirty. Straight up.

But my version of My Mamas is that they learn from this lesson. And don’t do the same old thing. As I purge their old Narrative. I purge that narrative from my children. As I heal myself. My children heal. Get grounded in my truth beyond what my Mama thought I was. That’s huge.

I. Like Jesus. Took the hit. And faced the Hippocrates. Faced lies. Faced the programming within my Mamas brains. Why? To set them free from what they thought I was to them. Why? Because I am way more.

More than a mistake. More than an adopted child. More than a doll. More than just a headache. If my Mamas head ache? It’s because my words confronted with was within them that was not me and yanked it out. Yank! Like no!

You don’t get to call me crazy and think it’s ok. No. You don’t get to tell everyone who you think I am. I do. I do. Not you.

Like I don’t even want to do that to my kids. Yet I have. Yeah. My own programming did that. Like some kind of recorder inside just spoke it. And some of that stuff helpful make some is not.

Jesus confronted the out of date ideas back in the day. And we still struggle with them? Still fail to see beyond the story about God coming down in human form called Jesus. Like when will we see we failed Jesus and God the day he hung for us? Like why? Couldn’t anyone just accept? The truth?



I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

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