What compounds it is…

As you will see, when you watch this video babies have a language. I had a language when I was born that fell on a deaf woman’s ears who did not even have a clue as to what I was asking for? And I paid the price for this ignorance. An ignorance I am unable to be upset about. She was not prepared for me. Which is so ironic. Neither was my own Mama?

Blocked out due to ignorance? I cried so hard after born. That the nurses forgot I was not to be taken to my Mama for soothing? And did just that for me? Nurses knew? Instinctively? Why? They had more practice than Mama at even hearing her won cries that were not heard? Like wow. This is deep rooted behaviors of denial. And it’s so needed that we all see denial and what denial does to each gestation if ignorance is just lead to believe it truly is bliss?

The titanic was blissful? Until it hit the iceberg? Bliss left as people perished for lack of knowledge on the part of the crew? That was paid to guide them on their maiden voyage and last voyage? Like wow. That’s huge.

Adoption has been on a voyage for years in the harboring of our minds to an old way of thinking? Of course babies have a language? And thank God for this woman ground breaking work to bring knowledge to our first trainers. Mother.

I was denied. My Mama in the hospital denied me what I was screaming for. Due to what? To not know what she did. Just like Jesus said on the cross. Forgive them. They know not what they do? (Psst. That’s code for they have gone mad) lost their minds and are acting like animals. Unable to allow God to set them straight through Jesus who dares to say his truth. He rocked our world. A baby. Spoke.

Like let that sink in. And marinate. Let it blow your mind that thinks you know it all? It’s is not I that knows? I am the vessel being used to show us all. I learn with you. And see how God has taught me that. I just didn’t know it had words to go with but. I had no choice but to trust God. What is your excuse?

This video shows. Ignorant woman. And we need to get over that word. Ignorance. Because beyond ignorance is knowledge. Don’t let the word ignorant offend you. Or you’ll loose and be out of date.

Because my own Mama denied me. I struggled to even ask for my needs to be met. She hurt me so bad. So deeply. At two days old. At birth for that matter? Wounded me. Stabbed my heart out.

Her. Look at her. That’s who was denied. An innocent child was sentenced to denial. Wow. The cold cut of my Mothers knife. Much like the one she brandished at me on my visit to see her.

Wow. Swipe! Denied.

Might I say this. She. Denied me. And I came

  • Home and gave her this 👆👆👆. Beautiful. Poised. And spunky. One of three I gave to her. So rare and uniquely their own. Celebrated. As beings who came from me. Cherished and tested by my loving hands to be amazing people with skills not many have at their young ages. Look at her. I gave her beauty from my ashes of denial? And I am the criminal? Oh my?
  • So I know about this video deeply as a child denied and given a stranger who denied me too. And denies me today. It strikes me. As I realize what I as a woman had to do to even home in on my own child’s needs? I had to ow crime denial to listen to my heart. To go back to my own inner child to say? Was was I saying and to override the lyric of a woman who didn’t have clue who was trying to tell me what my own child wanted over the top of my own child’s voice? Shut up! Go. So I can listen and learn her language!! I’m talking about my first born here.

    She hated her bath time. And I learned how to smooth her once the imposter thinking she knew it all was gone. I worked with her and massages her and swung her when her belly hurt. So much I know now. Oh. I want all Mamas to know and see what ignorance did to me and what I overcame. And each day overcome as I reach out for help here. And you all read how I am still denied. Like wow. Is this as good as it gets? Denial?

    Oh. It’s to negative. I can’t promote that? Why not? Chicken? To scared you might have to change? To stuck? Well. Look at me. Do I look like I give a shit? I had to take all this negative? It’s time for you to too. The buck. Stops here. Time to grow up. I had to. Now you. Wake up.

    It’s time to educate ourselves about everything we can? We choose to use only 10% of our brains? Like come on. How? By staying old and small. By hanging into yesterday’s news and focusing on all that’s bad and how bass just gonna keep happening? Well if that’s what we focus on? Like the news for one? Hello guys? Change it up? Look for what’s working. Tell about that. Make that the new cool. And how about educational news and a mandate? A standard. Laws? Punishment? Does not work. Hello? How many prisons do we need to see that point? Titanic.

    Babies are our best shot at a better future. I was denied. And I will be god damned if I don’t change that shit right now. Here. In this blog of consciousness called me. Yeah. Me. Letting God and the higher forces at play use me. Why not? Let God use me now that I seem to be used up to my family? They much like Good ole Mother Mary and the gang who let, let Jesus hang on a tree to keep the damn peace? Lord have mercy on us all today.

    • It’s time to cut a new groove. And make many more folds in the brain. Are you gonna tell me? That we should ignore this woman’s findings and not doing something? Like oh how cute she is?

    My pain was to be off course and to have no voice to speak of where I wished to go? And also being faced with living a life with someone who could so easily throw me away after years of loyal service to her needs? Like wow. Fuck me in the ass hard with a broom stick!

    I wonder if my sisters felt my dismay growing up? Could they feel what I was going through? Was Mama somehow tied into some Bermuda Triangle of death by mental inhalation, had she cursed herself like Jonah and the whale? Had I? Did I do this to myself? Did I tell my own Mama. No. You must deny me. I am all you think. I will pay for my fathers sins? Is that how it’s supposed to be? The baby pays for the fathers missed marks? Like and it is the way.

    Children all over the planet pay in one way or another. And people try to say they don’t? We all do? Can we? Change that? Why must anyone pay? What is grace for if not used? What is love if it is unable to cover a multitude of sins?

    Listen to these simple cries. And learn about meeting the needs of a baby. And realize the needs denied you. Accept it. We all fucked up in some way. I struggled to override what Jean said to listen to my own voice? That’s huge? Overriding mu system? Overriding what I had been taught? Like wow. And it was not easy?

    And I laugh as my own Mama says to me accords her table. You messed her up. You are messed up? And to resize that’s what she feels? And has also told my own daughter in ignorance. She was told the same thing and has been quoting that shit for years. We all mess up. And if she could see? She helped fix it herself by taking Chelsie in. Like she should when I need help. Like oh my god.

    I gave you an amazing granddaughter. And you told me she was messed up? That’s not what I see? No. The woman is a divinely guided healer who’s prayers touch the throne room immediately. I’ve felt her prayer. At two. She prayed for me. And I felt it myself. And wisdom beyond her years!! Like wow. All of them. Amazingly anointed. Knowing that. Yet don’t want it on blast. To bad. Blast away. It’s true.

    Now you’ve read this far. Watch this and learn about language. Communication. Wrap if you struggled and let go of your own denials. Forgive them for they knew not. But we don’t have to keep being like they now do we?



    I am an Adapted, artist, Mother, a soul, a human, singer, writer, activist, minister and deprogrammer and reprogrammer of minds. And I am here because we need to change how you see it, a lot of things that is. For us Adoptees who have lived in the dark. We were cut off from our families. And that is sad people.

    Submit a comment

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

    Google photo

    You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

    Connecting to %s