Most woman have their posy or side kick! I didn’t not have a side kick. I’ve had a few? But none that stick like family usually does?
Like a sister that shows up and goes batshit crazy and runs off a dork who’s to old for you? Who’s there? No. I’m Guessing? My sisters didn’t do that for each other? Cuz they haven’t done that for me?
I guess Mama never considered that I had been neglected? Which would make me so starved for everyone’s attention? Yet? I keep going on denied access to my own family by my own family? Does that even sound right? No. But that’s true?
They don’t want me either? You know? I used to walk around to the neighbors for attention. Yes. I did. Mrs Hamlin was the best for hugs. She got it. So did Mrs. Cates. When your starving for attention? You can end up in some fixes with the wrong folks who just want to take advantage of your naïveté? Who taught me about those folks? They did. Nope. Like orphan/adopted and fair game.
And a Mama that would run all my friends off and embarrass me. I’m done lying and holding this in and I may be on the streets soon? But I think I’ve done well. Taking all this. I only taught back a bit. More lately. Just telling the truth can make a world of difference. A world of difference once folks get used to it? They kind of count on it. That’s why so many folks come ask me questions. They count on my wisdom from Hard knocks.
There was no Phil to protect me. And I fear Mama kind of picked up on the energies and it’s kind of spilled into our family like a curse? I do feel that Victoria on some level didn’t go to college because in some way she was holding space for me? A big sister would do that so I didn’t feel so weird? And god would too.
Growing up Adopted is not for sissy’s. It’s like the military. Cuz they ain’t your parents. And we know the difference.